


Get Back Up

by Hepzheba



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animal Death, Asshole Stiles Stilinski, Bullying, Fluff, Horseback Riding, Horses, Humor, Jerk stiles, Light Angst, M/M, POV Stiles, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Stiles-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 19:10:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4316379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hepzheba/pseuds/Hepzheba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After taking the blame for his so-called friend Jackson and his stupid pot, Stiles is forced to work for the Hales at their horse ranch the summer before his last year in high school. At first he absolutely hates it but he comes to realize that there is actually is something fun about this ranch thing and that horses are more likable and complicated than he’d previously thought. He also comes to realize that it’s not only the horses that are interesting; there’s also Derek Hale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been my enemy this spring but it's finally posting time and that feels awesome.
> 
> [Awesome storyset by the lovely Char](http://rohruh.tumblr.com/post/123816103305/get-back-up-by-hepzheba-32k-t-after-taking)
> 
> Please, read the tags! If there's anything else you want me to tag, please let me know. 
> 
>  
> 
> And here's who you should thank for this fic:
> 
> Lee (howl-to-the-wind), my new and awesome beta. This story wouldn't exist without you. I'm so grateful for all the time you've taken to help me out with the plot and the words when they wouldn't work with me. Thank you so much!
> 
> Brooke (allthebees) who listend to me rant and cheered me on. You were an awesome soundboard and this story wouldn't be the same without you. I love you! 
> 
> Charlotte (rohruh) who helped me with the horse terms and also made some awesome art. Thank you! I really liked working with you.
> 
> Beth (foreverblue-navy) the forever faithful beta. Thank you darling!
> 
> Julie (honeywolf) who cheered me on when I needed it the most. Thank you!
> 
> All the wonderful people in the sterekhaven skype chat (especially stickykeys who helped me with some editing in the very beginning of the fic) who let me rant at them and had word sprints. You guys are all awesome!
> 
>  
> 
> This work is for the enjoyment of the reader. I don't give permission to have this work - or any other fics I've written - to be shared on Goodreads or other third-party websites. Furthermore, I don't give any permission to have this, or other fics I've written, being shared with or read aloud by press or anyone on the production of Teen Wolf, included (but not limited to) cast, crew, writers and producers.

Stiles Stilinski probably has the worst luck of everyone in the entire world. He’s on his back on his bed, and the alcohol buzz he felt just a few hours earlier is all but gone. He already feels a headache looming, coupled with nausea, though he’s not sure if the nausea is because of his intake of alcohol or because of what will come.

He and Jackson got caught drinking alcohol once when they were sixteen, but Stiles knows that this is worse because pots beats alcohol, even if he hadn’t used any of it and it’s wasn’t even his. He only kept it for Jackson, but Jackson, the douche,  had said ‘tell anyone it’s mine and I’ll kill you.’ So Stiles had kept his mouth shut even as his dad’s disappointed eyes stared into his own and asked if the pot belonged to him.

Stiles has no idea what is going to happen to him when his dad gets home, all he knows is that he’s never been in this much trouble before.

After Stiles’ dad had busted the party and found the pot on Stiles, he pointed at the police cruiser and said, “Tara will take you home. Go to your room and stay there until I get home.”

Stiles  had tried to talk to the deputy who drove him, but Tara merely sighed and looked at him, clearly disappointed. Bitch. Stiles immediately felt bad for calling Tara a bitch though. She’s always so nice and used to help him with his homework when he was younger: But then again, who was she to be disappointed in him? She’s not his mom.

Stiles sits up when he hears the door open. He’s been waiting anxiously for the past two hours, but now he suddenly wants to be anywhere but here. He considers sneaking out of the window, but his dad would find him, and it would only make things worse in the end.

His dad comes into his room, leans against the door frame and drags a hand over his face. Stiles notices that he looks tired in his wrinkled green and beige sheriff’s uniform. Stiles feels pangs of guilt and worry in his chest as he watches him.

“I don’t know-” John begins and then quiets down. He sighs heavily. “You’re grounded. For the whole summer.”

“What? Dad, no! I’m-”

One glare and Stiles falls silent.

“No phone, no computer-”

“I need the computer for homework,” Stiles protests.

“You’ll do your homework when I’m home or at the station. No using the computer without supervision.”

“Dad, come on!”

“No car.”

“How am I supposed to get to school?”

“I’ll drive you.”

“I can’t have my dad drive me to school.”

John glares at him and he shuts his mouth.

“I, or one of my deputies will drive you and pick you up. No hanging out with friends.”

“What? That’s-” John glares at his son some more, “-I guess that’s fair.”

“Damn right it’s fair. Give me your phone and your car keys.”

Stiles sighs and takes his time getting his car key off the chain and plucking his phone from his pocket before he hands them to his father.

“And I’m taking this.” He unplugs the laptop, tucks it under his arm, and leaves the room without another word.

 

Monday after the Weekend of Doom is probably the worst day Stiles has experienced in his high school life. People are pointing at him and whispering about him, and normally he wouldn’t really mind people talking about him, but usually it’s because he’s done something good.

Jackson slaps his back hard when they meet outside the school and laughs at Stiles being driven to school in a police car – in the fucking backseat! Jackson stops laughing when Deputy Jordan Parrish levels a glare in his direction.

“Have fun,” Jordan calls after Stiles, “I’ll pick you up at four.”

Stiles waves his hand at Jordan to go away already.

Jordan’s actually quite cool. He’s younger than the other deputies, only twenty-four, and still in training. He adores Stiles’ dad and he’s a bit of a dork, and while Stiles doesn’t mind spending time with him at the station, he doesn’t really want to be seen with him in front of the whole school.

“You should’ve told your dad it was Jackson’s pot,” Danny  says when Stiles sits down next to him in Chemistry class.

Danny Mahealani is Jackson’s best friend first and foremost, but he’s nothing but fair and nice to everyone. He’s also the only one who ever gets away with saying things Jackson doesn’t want to hear, when Jackson makes fun of people Danny is always there to glare at him. Stiles has no idea why that is; if Danny has some heavy blackmail material on Jackson or something else.

“Jackson would never do the same thing for you,” Danny adds.

Doesn’t Stiles know it? Jackson is a selfish ass, but he is the King of Beacon Hills High. Being friends with him opens doors and even gets Stiles invited to parties with college students.

It also ends up with him grounded for the whole summer, but he hopes his dad will relent in a few weeks when the weather gets warmer. There’s no way he won’t allow Stiles to go to the beach along with Danny, Jackson and Lydia.

Speaking of Lydia…

“Hey, babe!” Stiles calls for his girlfriend as the gorgeous red-haired girl walks into the classroom, followed by her best friend Allison. Lydia gives Stiles an unimpressed look, but Allison gives him a small smile. Stiles ignores the latter and focuses on Lydia.

“We’ll talk later,” she hisses, clearly displeased with something he’s done, before sitting down a few rows ahead of him and Danny.

Danny gives him a pitying look and Stiles shrugs, waving it away. He catches someone staring at him from across the room.

“What are you looking at?” he hisses at Scott McCall, making the dark-haired guy turn his head away quickly. “Ass.”

When it rings for lunch, Stiles sidles up to Lydia and tries to kiss her, but she sighs and pushes mildly against his chest.

 

“I can’t believe you could be so stupid,” she hisses and then purses her lips, staying silent when some other students pass them. She grabs his arm, her pink-painted nails sinking into his skin like claws, and pulls him to a more secluded area of the school corridor. “We were supposed to go to Jackson’s beach house at the fourth of July, or did you forgot that,?”

“I’m sure my dad-”

“Seriously, Stiles? Your dad won’t let you leave your house. I hardly think he’ll let you leave the state.”

She’s right, Stiles knows she is. Stiles sighs and rubs her arm softly.

“It’ll be okay, I can-”

“It won’t. You won’t,” she states firmly, shrugging his hand off her arm. “We’re over, Stiles.”

Stiles feels as if he just got slapped across the face.

“What? Why?”

“Because this was supposed to be the best summer of my life and you ruined it. It would never have lasted between us anyway.”

Lydia kisses his cheek – it feels really condescending after everything else they’ve done together – before she walks away. Stiles leans back against the wall and bangs his head against it a few times.

This day sucks.

Stiles’ day gets even worse when Lydia sits next to Jackson at lunch. She smiles and giggles and lets Jackson think he’s smarter than her – which just proves how ridiculously stupid Jackson is, because no one is smarter than Lydia, not even their teachers.

Danny gives Stiles a pitying look as Stiles takes the seat next to him, as far away from Jackson and Lydia as possible. Stiles just shrugs and waves him off. He sometimes hates that Danny is so cool and so nice.

“Watch it, Stilinski, or you’ll end up at the loser table,” Jackson says and throws a piece of bread at said table. There’s only one occupant – McCall – and the bread hits the back of his head. Jackson high-fives Greenberg and they laugh.

McCall doesn’t turn around, Stiles didn’t expect him to. The weirdo rarely says anything. Stiles rolls his eyes at Jackson and throws his own bread at Jackson’s face (making sure to miss on purpose because he’s not suicidal).

 

“I’m not feeling well,” Stiles tells his dad the next morning when John comes to wake him up. John places his hand on his son’s forehead.

“You’re not feeling warm.” He heaves a put-upon sigh. “Is this about Lydia breaking up with you?”

“What?” Stiles squawks. “Who told you she broke up with me?”

John just gives Stiles an unamused stare and Stiles groans.

“Fucking Parrish. Should know better than to gossip.”

“Language,” his dad reproaches him sternly. “Unless you have a fever or are vomiting, you’re still going to school.”

Stiles tries to reason with him, “But da-ad, I’m heartbroken!”

“No, you’re not. Get out of bed.”

“Come on, dad!”

“Stiles, get out of bed. That’s final.”

John is almost out the door but Stiles can see him grow tense when Stiles mutters, “Mom would’ve let me stay at home.”

John turns around slowly, his expression more worried now.

“Is it really that bad going to school?”

Stiles huffs. “Everyone’s talking about me.”

“Just today then,” John tells him and Stiles nods, ecstatic.

Turns out, being home from school isn’t really that much fun when there’s no computer around and his dad added a security lock to the cable (freaking Jordan probably taught him that).

Stiles goes back to school the next day.

The week until the summer holiday can’t pass quickly enough. Lydia and Jackson start dating becoming the schools most popular couple - which Stiles has to grin and bear, while pretending not to hear people talking about his pitiful ass. They go to the pool with Danny and his boyfriend Ethan. Stiles is, of course, not allowed to go. He knows he’ll be bored out of his mind in the summer, but being home alone and bored seems slightly better than going to school and hearing his friends talk about all the awesome stuff they have done without him.  


 

School’s been out for two days when John comes into Stiles’ room where Stiles is well on his way on going through all the novels in the Stilinski household.

“I know you’ll get bored if you stay home the whole summer...”

The words make Stiles perk up. He hopes it means his dad will let him out once in a while.

“...so I talked to a friend of mine and she said she’ll let you help out on their ranch.”

“What!” Stiles stares at his dad and sits up on his bed. “A ranch? Like, with animals?”

“That’s normally the definition of a ranch, yes. A place with horses.”

“I can’t take care of horses!”

Stiles has never tried, but it’s rather likely that he can’t.

“It’s not like you’ll be alone. The Hales - it’s their ranch - will help you.”

“But Dad... I can’t! I’m allergic!”

John gives Stiles a dry look, because that was an obvious lie – and a bad one, at that.

“Okay, I’m not, but horses are huge, okay? Like, they could kill me if they wanted to!”

“So could a car crash. Does that mean you’ll never get in a car again?”

Stiles hates his dad’s logic.

  


Two days later Stiles finds himself with Deputy Tara on his way to the Hale ranch.

The Hale lands are wide and lush with green grass in fenced-off areas on both sides of the road where Stiles can see a few horses graze. The road that leads up to the ranch is not made of asphalt but dirt that makes a dusty cloud behind the car. At the end of the dirt-road there’s a large, white farmhouse and a huge, white barn.

“You know, I used to ride when I was a teenager,” Tara tells him and Stiles rolls his eyes, still looking out of the window. Don’t all girls go through a horse loving phase?

They arrive at the stable yard and Tara puts the car in park, but doesn’t turn off the engine. She turns to Stiles with a smile.

“Have fun today,” she says and Stiles rolls his eyes. That’s unlikely. “Be good now, okay, kiddo?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Tara smiles at him and puts a thumb against his forehead, just for a second before she lets her hand fall back to her lap. It’s something she’s done ever since he was a kid.

“Your dad will pick you up this afternoon.”

Stiles nods and gets out of the car. The car leaves a cloud of dust after it, making Stiles cough. He watches as Tara drives off the same way they came until she turns out onto the main road and is gone.

He looks around, trying to see if there are any people around. He feels silly just standing there. He would have thought that the people would notice him arrive and be thankful for the help he could give them.

He hears voices coming from behind the stables so he follows the sound until he sees a blonde girl on a grey horse inside a fenced-off area. This fenced-off area isn’t for horse-grazing, the ground is covered in sand instead of grass like the pastures they drove past. A dark-haired guy is leaning against the white fence, seeming to study the girl and the horse quite closely. He’s wearing what looks like a blue polo shirt and light brown, tight pants that seem made for riding. The guy obviously has a horse interest but Stiles can see past this because the guy seems rather ripped, his back, thighs and ass are all muscular and looking great in the tight pants and shirt.

Maybe this summer won’t be so bad, after all?

“Your reins are too long,” the guy calls out. “The hind is a disaster.”

Stiles walks up and stands next to him, leaning against the fence. He managed to woo Lydia, the most beautiful woman ever. He’ll be able to handle a horse nerd.

“The ass looks quite good from where I’m standing.” He smirks, proud of his own joke..

“Then you need a pair of glasses,” the guy says, his head turned away from Stiles so Stiles can’t see his face. “She’s not engaging the hind legs at all, just sitting there looking pretty.”

“I can hear you, you know!” the girl calls as she continues to let the horse trot around.

“I wasn’t talking about the horse,” Stiles says and that makes the guy turns his head to him. So quickly he might hurt himself. “Hey, I’m Stiles-”

Stiles has already half-reached out his hand to the guy when he can feel his smile falter. He knows that face. Last time he saw it, it didn’t have stubble and the jawline and cheekbones weren’t that prominent. The eyes are the same though, pale and with an interesting mix of brown, blue and green. The eyebrows are the same too; thick and dark and frowning at Stiles.

“Oh, hey, hi, Derek,” Stiles stutters before managing to fire off his most charming smile. “Nice to see you again. It’s been what? Two years?”

Stiles could kick himself for not realizing that the Hale Ranch obviously meant that Derek Hale would be there.

“Yeah, something like that.”

Derek looks like he wouldn’t mind having at least another two years pass before he met Stiles again. Stiles can’t really blame him for it either, not after his own behavior.

Though now that Stiles thinks about it, Derek doesn’t seem all that surprised to see him. He probably knew someone new was coming to help at the ranch. Does that mean he knew Stiles was coming? And he’s alright with that?

“You look great. How have you be-”

“Stay quiet,” Derek orders him and turns to face the girl and the horse again.

Stiles snaps his mouth shut in surprise, not really used to people ordering him to do things - well, except Lydia.

“But-”

“We’re in the middle of a lesson here. I’ll help you later. Stay here and be quiet. You might learn something.”

Stiles seethes, but can’t come up with anything to say, so he sighs heavily and watches the blonde girl and the horse. They trot around for what feels like hours, Derek telling her to straighten her back, lower her hands and all kinds of things that Stiles doesn’t think make any difference what-so-ever. When they’ve been trotting for a lifetime or two, they do the whole thing once more in canter.

When the horse finally slows down, its neck is sweaty and Stiles himself thinks he might be dying from the heat - not to mention the boredom. He startles from where he’s been hanging with his arms over the fence when Derek shoves him with his shoulder none too gently.

“Keep up,” Derek says and Stiles hurries to follow him. “You’ll help out here the whole summer, right? Our insurance covers any accidents with any of the horses, but if everything goes right you won’t have to go near them.”

“What? I’m going to be on a ranch for weeks and I’m not even going to get to pet any of the horses?”

They enter the stables from a back door. Stiles would have thought that it would smell gross but there isn’t really any particular smell inside the stable. There is a long aisle with large cages for the horses on both sides of the aisle - Stiles counts twelve of them.

“Are they called cages?” Stiles asks. Derek turns to him and rolls his eyes as if Stiles is really, really stupid. When he sees Stiles’ confused expression, his eyebrows do a weird dance on his forehead before he turns from Stiles, shaking his head.

“They’re called box stalls, or just stalls.”

“…Oh, okay.”

All of the stalls are empty and Stiles guesses all the horses are outside. The walls of the stalls are white with black bars on the upper half of the half-walls. Stiles looks around but he can’t see any saddles or other equipment. He wonders if they’re somewhere else. There three doors at the other end of the aisle, maybe they keep the equipment there?

“We’re going to start easy with the mucking,” Derek tells him and Stiles feels glad that his dad forced him to wear some old pants and shirt.

Stiles follows him past some of the box stalls and to a room where forks, muck forks Derek called them, are hanging on the walls and two wheelbarrows sit on the floor. There are also saddles hanging on the walls on some kind of special hangers, and other kinds of horse equipment Stiles has no idea what it’s called.. Before he has time to ask Derek, Derek hands him a fork and then puts another in one of the wheelbarrow and brings it with him out of the room.

Stiles follows him silently to one of the stalls. The ground in the box is covered in cutter shavings and there are quite a few heaps of horse poop. A large cup is stuck on the wall furthest from the door to the box. Stiles takes care not to step in any horse poop as he makes his way over to look at it. There’s water in it but not nearly enough for a horse, it’s just about a cup in there and that’s not even enough for a human.

“It’s an automatic waterer,” Derek explains, sounding tired when Stiles asks. “They get fresh water from pressing the flap.”

Stiles presses a finger to the small flap and fresh water gushes out. He must admit that he’s rather impressed by the invention. He watches the pipe from the waterer go up to the ceiling where it’s attached to another pipe. When he eyes the larger pipe in the ceiling he notices that similar, thinner pipes goes down into each of the other stalls as well.

“We had it installed a few years ago. Before that we had to carry the water in buckets.”

That sounds like much work, Stiles thinks. Derek places the wheelbarrow by one of the walls where there’s no dung.

“You just lift it onto the fork.” Derek puts the fork under one of the large heaps of horse poop and picks it up. He shakes it quickly and some of the shavings fall off before he throws it into the barrow.

Stiles tries to do the same, but when he shakes his fork all the dung fall off as well. On the third try some of the dung stays on the fork and he drops it into the barrow. They work in silence for the rest of the box. Stiles glances at Derek every now and then, but Derek seems to be focused on his work, not sparing Stiles any glances. He looks great - Stiles wasn’t lying about that - more grown up with a dark stubble and his jaw his broader, more masculine. If Stiles had known Derek would grow up to look like this...

When they’re done with the stall, Derek shows him where to dump the dung outside. It’s a disgusting heap. Stiles is really glad his dad told him to wear his old sneakers.

They move to the next box and by then, Stiles’ shoulders are already starting to hurt.

“How often do you have to do this? Once a week?”

Derek snorts, as if Stiles had said something funny.

“Guess again.”

“Twice?”

“Try every day,” Derek says as he finishes mucking the box. He has done most of the work. Not that Stiles hasn’t tried, but it’s harder than it looks and his arms hurt.

“Every day?” Stiles exclaims as he follows Derek into a new box, staring at all the horse dung in there. “How often do these animals poop?”

“Depends,” Derek says, unfazed as he begins with the new box. “Around three to five times a night, I think.”

“What? They don’t poop during the day?”

Stiles has never heard of the fact that horses don’t poop during the days. He remembers watching a parade with horses and one of the horses pooped while walking (and isn’t that some skill worth mentioning?).

“Of course they do.” Derek’s expression is pinched, as if Stiles’ questions are physically hurting him.

“So they poop like ten times a day?” Stiles asks after he’s done the math.

Derek shrugs as he keeps on working. Not much for talking, that one.

“And that’s normal? Like, they’re supposed to poop that much? I poop like once a day. Three times tops if I’ve had something bad. Like maybe a whole pizza in, like, ten minutes.”

“Thanks for sharing.”

Derek sounds everything but thankful for this and Stiles remembers that he’s not talking to Jackson, Danny or Lydia who are all used to him and his ability to talk about whatever he thinks of. Maybe that was one of the reasons why Lydia broke up with him?

“Get back to work,” Derek orders and moves to the next box. “You can clean this one on your own and I’ll get the other barrow.”

Derek walks out without another word, leaving Stiles alone with the horse crap. He notices that Derek starts to muck in the box the furthest away from Stiles. He tries not to feel offended and-or rejected, but then again, Stiles can’t really blame Derek. He rejected Derek first.

Stiles manages to muck out two of the stalls by himself as Derek mucks out the rest of the stalls. Stiles tries not to feel like an amateur, even though he technically is.

“Now what?” He asks as he empties the barrow on the dung-hill, wincing at the soft feeling under his shoes.

“Now we check if any of the stalls need more shavings.”

Derek checks Stiles’ two stalls and then orders Stiles to take his barrow and follow him. Derek opens a new door by one of the walls where a huge heap of wood shavings is contained, as well as an equally large haystack by the other wall. Derek instructs him to load the barrow with shavings and does the same to his own. Stiles empties the whole barrow in one of the stalls, as Derek instructs, before going to get another barrow of shavings. They put fresh shavings in five of the twelve stalls.

Stiles notices that two of the stalls are much bigger than the others, as if they’re going to be home for dragons, or something.  Derek seems to think his joke isn’t funny and just tells him, in that flat voice of his, that the bigger stalls are for a foal and its mother.

“You have foals?” Stiles asks, perking up at the thought of tiny horses, that would almost make up for this awful punishment.

“Not yet,” Derek says. He doesn’t seem to want to share more about this but takes his wheelbarrow, back to the room they found them in as Stiles follows along. Derek hands him a rake this time and orders him to rake out the heaps of shavings in the stalls.

The doors to the stables open and the blonde girl with the grey horse comes in. She ties the horse up in between the stalls. Derek walks up to talk to her, but Stiles continues raking the shavings until the bed is even in all stalls. He is determined to show that he’s a good worker. He puts back the rake back in the room and then approaches the others.

“Stop!” Derek suddenly yells, his hand held out towards him and Stiles immediately backs up against the wall, his eyes wide. “Are you stupid? You can’t just walk up to a horse from behind! He can kick in your head!”

Derek’s jaw clenches tightly and he sighs heavily before he leaves the stables, the door banging shut behind him, before Stiles even has time to apologize. Stiles stays pressed against the wall, afraid that the horse really will kick at him.

“Don’t mind him,” the blonde girl says and motions for him to come forward.

Stiles stays where he is. He likes his head as it is, after all. The girl rolls her eyes and walks up to him. She pulls at his arm and he follows her up to the horse. She pats the horse’s rump and Stiles expects the horse to fly forward, because that’s what horses do when you pat their rump. However, the horse doesn’t move a muscle.

“Derek’s just being cautious. This is Lucky Luke,” she says and pets the horse’s nose. “He loves people.”

Stiles carefully reaches out his hand and pats the horse’s neck. It’s surprisingly soft. The girl stops petting and continues brushing. Stiles moves out of her way and then considers patting the horse again, but he’s close to the head and it might bite.

“Does he bite?” he asks. “I mean, can I pat his nose?”

The girl laughs. “He doesn’t bite, and it’s called muzzle and you can pat him wherever. He loves when you scratch him under his chin, right here.”

She scratches the horse far up under his chin and then takes Stiles’ hand and puts it there. Stiles begins to scratch softly, a bit amazed at the fact that he’s petting a horse. He looks at the horse and stops scratching in surprise at the closed eyes. The dark gray eyelids open slowly and the horse glares at him. Stiles starts up with the scratching and the horse lengthen its neck and closes its eyes again.

“You really like this, don’t you?” Stiles asks the horse quietly. The girl laughs and Stiles feels a bit self-conscious so he covers it up by starting to talk, “I’m Stiles, by the way. I don’t think we’ve gone to the same school. Are you from Beacon Valley?”

“I’m Erica,” she says, watching him closely and he gets a bit worried that he should know who she is, the way she’s looking at him suggests he should. “Erica Reyes. I moved to Valley high last year, yeah.”

Stiles stops scratching and feels himself flush. He remembers Erica. He can’t really recognize her though. A year ago she’d been bleak, quiet, and hadn’t really stood out at all. Now her blonde hair isn’t hanging stripes in front of her brown eyes and she holds herself differently.

“I moved because someone videotaped while I had a seizure and then uploaded it online. Apparently it was hilarious that I peed myself.”

She glares at the horse’s back and Stiles feels himself grow pale.

“I- I’m sorry,” he says and he wonders if she knows he was there, if she knows Jackson was the one filming and Stiles helped him upload it?

“I’m better now,” she says and smiles at him. “I’ve changed my meds and I’ve got good friends in school.”

Stiles nods, not knowing what to say, but he feels ashamed for having done what he did to her a year ago. He knew it was wrong – not when he did it, because at the time, he hadn’t really understood the severity of a seizure. The teachers at the school had been so angry about the video, and so had Stiles’ dad. No one ever found out it was Stiles’ and Jackson’s fault, though Stiles suspects that Danny knew because he glared at them both, making them (or at least Stiles) feel even more ashamed whenever the event was mentioned. Erica changed schools not long after that and the event was forgotten. Only to be brought up again now.

“Do you want to lead him to his pasture?” Erica asks and Stiles shakes his head quickly.

“What? No- I can’t- I’m-”

Erica hands Stiles a rope that’s attached to the horse’s halter.

“Come on, just follow me.” Erica smiles and Stiles takes a step forward, clutching the rope tightly. She opens the door to the stables and Stiles and Lucky the horse follow after her.

“Don’t look so scared. You’re doing great. The horse is supposed to walk on your right and by your side. His head is supposed to be right by your side.”

She’s walking backwards as she’s talking, and just like she said, the horse walks right by Stiles’ side.

“See what happens if you stop.”

Stiles does so and is surprised when Lucky stops too. Lucky looks at him with kind, brown eyes and Stiles feels himself relax somewhat.

“And then start walking again and click with your tongue.” Erica does a clicking sound. Lucky’s ears perk up, but he doesn’t move. Stiles tries to make the same sound with his mouth, but only makes some half-strangled sounds. Erica giggles and Stiles feels himself relax even more at that.

“Just walk and pull him along,” she says and Lucky follows Stiles when he starts walking again.

They stop by one of the pastures and Erica takes the rope from Stiles.

“You need me to…”

Stiles motions for the gate, but Erica shakes her head and tells him to step back. She opens the gate by herself and then pulls off the halter from Lucky even though he’s still outside. Lucky doesn’t run away though. Erica moves away from the opening and clicks her tongue again. Lucky pushes his nose – muzzle – against her shoulder as he walks by her slowly. Erica closes the gate after him.

“If you’re unsure of the horse, you should walk him into the pasture and then let him go, but Lucky’s the coolest,” Erica says. “’Sides, he wants to go back to his friends and food.”

Lucky walks out into the grass and then walks into a small circle before he lies down with a loud groan. Stiles stares as the large animal pushes himself onto his back and wriggles around a few times. When he gets up from the ground he shakes himself violently, groaning as he does so.

“Cute, isn’t he?” Erica says and Stiles feels slightly embarrassed for having been caught being impressed by a horse.

“Aren’t you here to work?” someone calls behind them and Erica rolls her eyes, clearly not impressed by Derek.

“Talk to you later,” she says and smiles at Stiles before she leaves.

Derek’s glaring at Stiles and the good feeling Stiles had felt while leading Lucky and watching him roll around in the grass quickly disperses.

“What?” he asks and Derek’s frown deepens.

“She’s taken,” he states simply and then turns to walk away.

Of course two people like Derek and Erica are not only beautiful and like horses, but are also dating each other. Figures. Stiles secretly thinks Erica can find someone happier than Derek though, but then again, he and Derek didn’t really get off to a great start in school years earlier, which in hindsight is really all Stiles’ fault.

Two years ago, Stiles had almost secured his position with the cool gang, when Derek, who was a senior at the time,  asked him to the prom. Stiles had panicked.

Stiles wasn’t very good at lacrosse like Jackson was, which stopped him from being invited to the cool table in the cafeteria. However, a senior named Haley had taken a liking to him anyway so Stiles was allowed to sit with her, and Jackson and some other players on the team bumped shoulders or fists with him in a companionable way. But if he let horse-nerd Derek Hale take him to prom, Stiles would end up getting a one-way ticket to the losers’ table, no matter that Derek was a senior. He started out at the loser’s table and it really wasn’t something he wanted to relive. So Stiles said he wasn’t gay and that he was totally, completely straight.

What Stiles didn’t know was that someone from the lacrosse team had heard them so when Stiles gets to lunch the others catcall. Jackson fluttered his eyelashes, pretending to be Derek, and saying that he and Stiles should ride off to the sunset together. Senior Jeff piped in that maybe Derek could ride Stiles like he rides his horses. Laughter erupted in the cafeteria and Stiles saw Derek get up and leave.

“Hey, Hale!” Jeff called. “You should’ve started with how good you are at riding, maybe then Stiles wouldn’t have said no.”

Derek’s face was bright red as he hurried out from the cafeteria. Stiles’ face was red too, but he laughed along with the others anyway.

Thinking about it now makes him realize how mean he was towards Derek. He wonders if an apology would do. Probably not. While the jokes on Derek’s expense had died down quickly Stiles guesses Derek didn’t forget about it just as quickly. And now Stiles comes and brings up all bad memories for Derek again. No wonder Derek is grumpy whenever Stiles is around.

Stiles opens his mouth to apologize for his behavior - his mom always said that the best way to start with trying to earn someone’s forgiveness was with an apology - but Derek beats him to the talking.

“Come help me clean the tack,” Derek orders and  Stiles hurries to follow him to the room where all the saddles are kept - the tack room, Derek tells him it’s called.

Cleaning the horses’ gear is boring, Stiles quickly comes to realize. Derek picks apart the different stuffs they use for the horses and Stiles cleans the leather slings with the sponge and the special soap Derek provided. When he’s cleaned it with the soap, he also has to polish it. When everything is cleaned and polished, he tries to help Derek put them all back together, but fails miserably which makes Derek growl at him to go outside and wait there.

Stiles feels tired and stupid. He’s not used to feeling stupid. He is usually the smarter one among his friends.

He makes his way over to the pasture where they released Lucky earlier. Stiles can easily distinguish Lucky’s fair coat from the other horse’s black coat. He turns to one of the other pastures where a brown horse is standing in the shade of a tree. Suddenly there’s movement from behind the tree and Stiles lets out a surprised sound as the tiny horse walks out from behind the tree.

“Here, horsie,” Stiles calls. He wonders if he should tell Derek. Derek had said that they didn’t have any foals yet – and the ‘yet’ should mean that they’re expecting. Derek obviously has no idea that a foal’s been born. Yeah, he should definitely tell Derek. Maybe that will help him get into Derek’s good books. Even a little.

Stiles hurries back into the stables, calling Derek’s name.

“You shouldn’t scream inside a stable. If there had been horses here, they might be spooked,” Derek comments. “What do you want? Found an interesting stone?”

Stiles glares at him, but then remembers the foal and lights up.

“A foal!” he exclaims. “There’s a foal with one of the horses.”

Derek looks surprised and pulls at Stiles’ arm to make him move along outside. Stiles happily hurries along.

“With the brown horse,” Stiles tells him as Derek pushes the door to the outside opened. Outside the door, Derek turns to the right, but Stiles grabs his arm.

“No, this way.”

“What?” Derek sounds genuinely surprised. Can’t he even remember in which pasture he’s put the horses?

Stiles drags him to the fence and points to the foal, which sees them and trots up to the fence. Its head doesn’t even reach the top plank.

“Seriously?” Derek asks and Stiles nods as he reaches out and pats the foal’s head. Its coat is brown and the mane light in color and so bushy.

“He’s so tiny. He can’t be old, right?”

“Seriously?” Derek asks again, turning to face Stiles, almost looking offended. “Is this the foal?”

“Obviously,” Stiles rolls his eyes. He wonders if Derek’s not using a helmet or if he’s fallen off the horse’s back one too many times.

“This,” Derek articulates and points to the foal, “is Monsieur Wood. Last time I checked, he was fourteen years old.”

Stiles gaped. “What? That can’t be right. He’s so tiny.”

“He’s a miniature horse!” Derek looks a bit wild and angry.

“Are you messing with me now?”

Derek gives him a dark look and turns on his heels, leaving Stiles alone with the not-foal Monsieur Wood and his friend. He really wishes he had a phone so he could check if Derek’s messing with him.

As Stiles wonders about miniature horses, a car suddenly arrives to the stable yard and a dark-haired woman steps out.

“Hi there,” she calls when she spots him. “Can I help you?”

“Uh, no? I mean, I work here. Or well, I help out. I don’t really work because I don’t get paid, but I work for free. Well, right now, I’m having a bit of a break and maybe an epiphany. Or my boss is just messing with me,” Stiles said, then he couldn’t help asking, “Is that a foal?”

Stiles jerks his thumb over his shoulder at the supposedly-not-foal-but-still-very-small-horse. The woman smiles at him, seeming unbothered by his rambling. Her eyes are a weird mix of green and brown – a mix that Stiles has seen before.

“Laura?” he asks because he’s met Derek’s other sister and he knows this isn’t Cora, but the eyes are definitely the same color as Derek’s.

“Yep,” she says, popping the p. “You must be Stiles?”

“The one and only,” Stiles holds out his hands as if presenting himself.

“I can tell you that’s not a foal,” Laura says. “It’s Monsieur Wood, a miniature pony.”

Laura leans against the top plank next to Stiles and extends her hand to the horse. He sniffs at it and buffs his muzzle against it. Laura scratches at his ears.

“That’s what Derek told me.”

“But you didn’t believe him?”

“He doesn’t seem to like me that much,” Stiles admits.

“Derek doesn’t seem to like anyone. He’ll warm up to you.”

Stiles hopes she’s right even though he doubts it. He’s probably already burnt all his bridges with Derek. What surprises him though is that Laura is so friendly towards him. Stiles would’ve thought she made him work here as a punishment for what he did to Derek, but maybe Derek haven’t told her about it?

“Have you guys eaten yet?” Laura asks. “You may think we’re slave drivers, but we did promise your father we’d feed you.”

“I haven’t. Thanks.” Stiles says as Laura smiles.

“Come on, let’s fix something to eat. Derek gets grumpy when he’s hungry.”

“Why doesn’t he eat breakfast then?”

Laura laughs out loud and Stiles preens a little on the inside.

The Hale house is white and huge with two floors and a huge porch that spanned the whole front of it, while the colors inside are a mix of light and white. Laura doesn’t show him around, but merely points towards the downstairs bathroom and the living room at the end of the corridor. Stairs lead up from the hallway right next to the open doorway to the kitchen. The kitchen is also huge with light gray cabinets and a silver colored fridge and freezer.

“Let’s make a pie,” Laura decides and orders Stiles to make the salad.

Stiles is in the middle of cutting tomatoes when a door is slammed into the wall in the hall.

“Laura, have you seen Stiles? I swear to god if that stupid kid has hurt one of the horses I’ll-”

Derek stops dead in his track and stares at Stiles who’s sitting on one of the bar stool by the counter top. His surprised expression quickly turns sour when Stiles waves at him, the knife still in his hand.

“I thought I told you to stay-”

“Der, relax. We’re making dinner. Go wash up and keep away until we call you, okay?”

Derek grumbles something under his breath but leaves.

“You see what I mean about him hating me?”

“I’m sure he’ll change his mind,” Laura says but she doesn’t sound convinced.

 

Stiles’ week continues like this: He gets out of bed way too early in the morning and then helps Derek with the horses, which means mucking, building fences, and other forms of manual labor Stiles didn’t even knew someone has to do, let alone has muscles for doing. Every night when he goes to bed (way earlier than he thought he would), his muscles ache and it’s not unusual for his hands and fingers to have blisters on them. Derek, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to ever get tired. Well, at least not physically; he often seem to get so tired at Stiles’ questions that Stiles sometimes wonders if Derek will actually hit him in the head with a shovel.

One morning, Stiles snaps.

“Can you stop being such a dick?” he exclaims when Derek, for the umpteenth time, tells him he’s doing the mucking wrong. It’s mucking, not fucking brain surgery!

Derek gives him a blank look, as if he hasn’t been unnecessary mean towards Stiles.

“Look,” Stiles says and leans against the fork. “I get that you feel embarrassed or whatever because I turned you down before, but that was years ago, dude. If you’re still interested now, I wouldn’t mind–”

“You think this is some sort of revenge?” Derek’s expression is angrier than usual, a muscle working in his jaw.

Stiles gives him a ‘duh’ expression, thinking it’s quite obvious what it’s all about.

“I might not have been that nice when I turned you down and, I mean, if you’re still hung up on me then I get if you’re-”

“I’ve never been ‘hung up’ on you. I liked the way you looked and Laura forced me to ask someone to prom and I chose you. I didn’t even know you back then.”

Stiles makes an indignant sound at the implication, that Derek wouldn’t have asked him if he’d known Stiles. Stiles knows he probably wouldn’t, but still, to have it said out loud isn’t very fun.

“And you’re right,” Derek continues, ignoring Stiles’ indignation – or maybe it makes him even angrier. “You were a total dick when you turned me down. A simple no would have been fine. You didn’t have to lie-”

“I didn’t lie!”

And that is a complete and utter lie.

“You’ve been hitting on me since you got here. I don’t believe that you’re straight.”

“I thought I was at the time!”

That, too, is a lie. Stiles knows it and Derek seems to know it as well. He looks severely unimpressed.

“You don’t even remember who walked in on you and one of those twins, do you?”

Stiles barely even remembers hooking up with Ethan in freshman year, but now that Derek mentions it he does remember making out with him at the locker room. He also remembers someone walking in and interrupting them... _Derek_ interrupting them.

Derek hadn’t grown into his body back then, his ears were large and his body gangly. He still has the ears and they’re standing out a bit from his head, but it’s not as prominent as it was back then (maybe his head has grown). The pimples and acne are gone though, and they have been replaced by stubble. Derek’s body is nothing but well-shaped muscles compared to how he was years ago.

Now that Stiles thinks about it he realizes that it probably only was two weeks after the interrupted make out session that pimple-covered and nerdy Derek had asked Stiles to the prom. And Stiles proclaimed he was straight.

Until now he had no idea Derek knew that was a lie.

“Look, dude, I’m-” He starts to apologize but Derek interrupts him.

“I’m not being mean because you behaved like a dick back then. I’m being honest because you’re lazy and inadequate at whatever job I give you.”

Stiles gapes at Derek. Derek doesn’t seem angry, not really, more exasperated, as if he’s really holding no grudge against Stiles for what he did to him back then.

“Now finish up here. Preferably today.”

Derek then leaves Stiles alone in the stable.

Stiles’ week at the Hales doesn’t improve after that.

  


Stiles’ punishment is still ongoing from harboring Jackson’s weed, so that weekend he spends alone at home watching movies and reruns of TV shows – his dad finally allowed him to plug in the cable again, mostly because he wanted to watch a game.

On Sunday night, things seemed to take a turn for the better. Stiles is on his bed reading when John knocks on his door frame, the door already opened. When Stiles lifts his head, John holds up his car keys.

Stiles should be too scared to hope, but he can’t help it. Is he getting his car back?

His dad throws him the keys, and Stiles fumbles but manages not to drop them.

“Really?”

“Really. You’ve worked hard this week,” John says. “But you have to go straight to the Hales and then back home, got it?”

“Got it!” Stiles beams at his dad who smiles back.

“And also, this,” John says and throws Stiles his phone. Stiles drops it on the bed next to him when he tries to catch it. The battery’s dead, but it won’t take long to recharge. “No friends yet, though.”

Stiles nods. John makes to leave, but then turns around.

“And that trip to New York we were talking about?”

Stiles stares at his dad. He hadn’t even thought that John might cancel their trip. Stiles has wanted to go to New York ever since he was a kid and it’s something they both saved up for.

“If you keep up the good work, we’ll still be going,” John smiles and Stiles sighs a breath of relief.

“Thanks, dad, and I will.”

“Good. I love you, son. Good night.”

“I love you too, dad. Night.”

Stiles goes to the Hales on Monday and as soon as he’s there Derek makes him start mucking. Derek doesn’t help out this time so it takes Stiles until lunch to muck all the stalls. At least Derek’s not hanging over his shoulder telling him everything he’s doing wrong.

After lunch Stiles is surprised to see a familiar face when the farrier, the person who fixes the horses’ shoes, and his apprentice comes.

“Hi, Stiles,” Scott McCall says and Stiles ponders if he should pretend not to recognize him, but none of his school friends are here and Scott has always been a nice guy actually.

“You’re training to be a farrier?” Stiles asks and Scott nods.

“I’ve been with Deaton since winter,” he says.

“Oh, I didn’t know.” The words just slip out of Stiles before he can stop them.

“Why should you?” Scott looks a bit sad.

“We used to know everything about each other,” Stiles tries to save the situation. “Funny how people just drift apart, you know?” He aims for a light tone, but Scott doesn’t seem to feel lighter at all.

“It’s kind of hard to be friends when you pretend I don’t even exist,” he says quietly.

Scott isn’t mean. He hasn’t got a mean bone in his body. He doesn’t say it to be mean, Stiles knows this, and yet the words hurt him.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes a bit on the words.

Scott shrugs and anything else he’s about to say is forgotten when the farrier, Deaton, calls his name. He leaves Stiles alone on the stable yard.

Stiles doesn’t want to follow him into the stables, even though there’s probably where he should be. Instead, he follows the voices he can hear from the back where the paddock is. He’s surprised to see Derek in there. His younger sister, Cora, whom Stiles has seen in school but never really talked to, is at the white fence, talking to him.

“Hey,” Stiles says and stands beside Cora. She gives him an uninterested look before turning to Derek and the horse. It’s a black horse, because of course Derek’s riding a stallion. It’s probably half-wild, Stiles thinks. The horse proves Stiles’ point by jumping to its left when they’re passing Stiles and Cora.

“It’s just a stupid human,” Derek tells the horse and pats its neck. Stiles is about to reply when the horse starts to buck. Stiles expects Derek to fly over the horse’s head, but instead he sits still in the saddle. The horse soon calms down and Derek talks to it in a low voice.

“We should sell her to the rodeo instead,” Cora says, loud enough so Stiles knows it’s aimed at Derek.

“Him,” Stiles corrects Cora. Cora frowns at him.

“Derek?”

“No, the horse. You said her. It’s a stallion.”

Cora barks out a laugh, making the horse sidestep until he and Derek are on the other side of the paddock.

“If you’re going to be here, keep quiet,” Derek orders and even though he’s too far away Stiles knows he’s scowling at them.

“Sorry,” he calls and mimes zipping his lips.

“It’s a mare,” Cora says to him and points to the horse, as if Stiles didn’t know what they were talking about. “A female horse.”

“No, it’s not. It’s black, it’s a stallion.”

“Oh, my god!”

The horse jumps sideways again and Derek hisses “Cora!” in their direction.

“Derek, tell Stiles that your horse – Lady Bellatrix – is not a stallion.”

“She’s a mare,” Derek says and stays seated even though the horse, the mare, does some jumps sideways.

“I thought all black horses were stallions.” Stiles feels a bit as if his whole childhood was a lie. Does that mean that the black stallion wasn’t a real stallion?

“And what happens to the stallion if we fix him, does the black just magically disappear?”

“What? No, that’s-”

“God, you’re stupid!”

Cora obviously doesn't like him and unlike Laura, Stiles has a feeling she knows what he did to Derek. He doesn’t know how much she knows though, if she heard it in school or if Derek has told her.

“Be quiet!” Derek orders and this time they do stay quiet. Stiles mostly does because he feels every bit as stupid as both Hale siblings so obviously think he is.

 

 

Stiles really intends to go to the Hales on Wednesday, he does, but he oversleeps. When he finally wakes up, it’s almost eleven and he’s received a text from Lydia asking him if he wants to join them and go to the beach. Derek and Cora had both treated him like he wasn’t worth more than the horses’ dung the previous day and Laura had been nowhere to be seen. Hanging out with Lydia and the gang will probably be so much better, even if Lydia and Jackson are apparently a thing now – both Allison and Danny had sent him texts about them getting together for real the previous weekend.

Stiles feels a bit sad, but not sad enough to skip out on hanging out with them, especially not now that he can get away with it. He texts Lydia that he’ll be there.

Hanging out with his friends is great and Stiles hadn’t even realized how much he’d missed them – even Jackson. Both Derek and his dad calls, but Stiles ignores them.

The fun is quickly ruined when they’re at the diner and the sheriff and Jordan step inside. John’s blue eyes show the hurt clearly before he masks it and marches up to their table.

“Son,” he says and his eyes are hard when they meet Stiles’. “I thought I told you explicitly that you weren’t allowed to go anywhere but the Hale Ranch.”

Jackson snickers and then groans in pain when someone obviously kicks him under the table. Stiles doesn’t know if he should thank Allison or Danny for that, probably Allison because Danny wouldn’t kick him that hard, but he’s too nervous to turn his gaze away from his father to look.

“Get in the car,” John says and points to the cruiser parked outside right next to Stiles’ blue jeep, the only jeep in town.

“But my-”

“Jordan will take your car. Give him your keys.”

“But we-”

“Now!”

Stiles’ face is hot with humiliation as he gets up from his seat and leaves the diner. Everyone is looking at him, all other conversations have grown quiet, and it’s only after John has said hi to Stiles’ friends and followed his son out that the murmurs of other people start up again. By then, Stiles is standing by the cruiser. He sinks down in the passenger seat and swears at his own stupidity.

John starts the car and drives off without saying anything. They’re half across town before he opens his mouth.

“Do you have any idea how scared I was when Derek called and said you hadn’t showed up?”

Stiles doesn’t say anything, doesn’t know what to say.

“I thought you were hurt. Why didn’t you answer your phone? No, don’t answer that, just- For Christ’s sake, Stiles! You promised me you’d go to Hales’. I trusted you. And you lied.”

Stiles still doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t say anything when they get home and John tells him to go to his room. He doesn’t answer his phone when Allison calls later, doesn’t look at the text she sends him.

 

They go to the Hales that night. Laura gives him a small smile, Cora smirks and Derek glares. Stiles feels like a kid, or someone legally incompetent, or something like that. Derek calls Stiles’ dad John, hands him a beer and smiles at him, and Stiles wants to hit Derek’s stupid face. Stiles’ dad, Laura and Derek all agree that Stiles will stay with the Hales during the nights when his dad, Tara or Jordan won’t be able to drive him to the ranch in the mornings.

Stiles protests. “Come on, just-”

“You broke my trust,” John interrupts him and Stiles feels ashamed, both for the fact that he did do that and because the Hales are listening, sitting on the other side of the table. “We’ll try this out and see if it works, okay, son?”

Stiles glares at him, but doesn’t say anything. His dad treats him like a freaking kid, like someone who can’t take care of himself and needs guidance and monitoring twenty-four seven. Stiles hates the feeling.

They don’t talk on the way home from the Hales, and Stiles glares out the window whilst ignoring his father’s futile attempts at conversation.

“Real mature, Stiles,” John sighs at last, “I’m glad you’re showing me I’ve made the right decision.”

Stiles wants to scream at him, but he just sits silent until they’re home.

“Pack your bag for staying over at the Hales’ tomorrow night. Jordan will come get you tomorrow morning.”

Stiles goes to his room and screams into his pillow.

 

 

Jordan is way too cheerful the next morning. Stiles wants to hit his pretty face into the steering wheel.

“You like the horses?” he asks and doesn’t really seem to care that Stiles doesn’t answer. “I’ve always been a bit scared of them, myself. They’re so big, you know.”

When they arrive at the farm, Derek’s just releasing one of the pregnant mares in her pasture.

Belle – short for Ladybelle – has a reddish-brown coat that’s called chestnut. It’s not the actual color of chestnuts which confuses Stiles but Derek swore he wasn’t lying and Wikipedia said so too. The first time Stiles saw her he just thought she was really fat and laughed and said that Derek had to give her less treats. Derek had glared and informed him in an ice-cold tone that the horse was pregnant. Derek didn’t seem thrilled at the fact. But that might have more to do with Stiles’ questions. Maybe even Stiles’ whole existence.

Stiles expects Jordan to just let him out of the car and then be on his merry way. Instead, he cuts off the engine and steps out of the car just as Stiles does.

“Derek.” He smiles. They do some bro-hugging and Stiles really wants to hit both their pretty faces.

“Aren’t you too old to hang out with Derek?” he asks Jordan because he’s four years older than Derek and there’s no reason for them to know each other.

“I went to school with Laura,” Jordan says but that’s still not a reason for him to seem close to Derek.

“Where can I put my bag?” Stiles asks and holds up his gym bag with his few necessities in it.

Derek and Jordan share a look, as if Stiles is a kid that interrupted the grown-ups talking because he needed to wee-wee.

Jordan waves goodbye to them, saying that he and Derek should really get together some time (Derek doesn’t seem against the idea) before Derek motions for Stiles to follow him up to the house. They go up the stairs this time.

Derek doesn’t tell Stiles which room belongs to whom, just where the bathroom is and Stiles’ room which is a guest room the furthest away in the corridor, right next to the bathroom. It’s small with a chest of drawers, a closet and a bed. The walls are blue and through the window Stiles can see the paddock and pastures. At least the view isn’t half-bad, Stiles thinks as he drops his bag on the floor next to the bed.

“Come on. Let’s get back outside,” Derek says and Stiles follows him silently.  


 

That night, Isaac Lahey comes home – because apparently he lives with Derek and his siblings now.

Isaac was in the same year as Derek, two years above Stiles, but Stiles doesn’t remember Derek and Isaac being close friends back then.

Isaac had been on the lacrosse team, but he wasn’t a jock and he was always so quiet. Just after graduation, it was found out that Isaac’s dad had been abusing him, which Stiles only knows because he overheard (eavesdropped on) his dad and some deputies talking about it. Stiles had no idea where Isaac went after his dad went to jail.

Now though, Isaac isn’t quiet. He’s talking and laughing, tells the Hales about his college, and Derek laughs and jokes easily with him. Stiles doesn’t really like Isaac, but at least no one seem to really care about Stiles with Isaac there.

He goes to bed early because working is exhausting and he is supposed to help Isaac take out all the horses the next morning.

 

 

A few hours later, Isaac wakes him up at the ungodly hour of five thirty in the morning. He looks way too composed with his blue eyes and blond curls.

Stiles tells him to go drown himself.

Isaac might take his advice because he leaves. Stiles has barely fallen asleep when there’s a rough shake of his bed. At first he thinks it’s an earthquake, but then he sees Derek standing by the foot of his bed, looking highly unamused with his eyebrows of doom and bulging biceps (they bulge especially nicely when he crosses his arms over his chest, Stiles has come to notice).

“Get up,” Derek says and kicks the bed again.

“G’way,” Stiles mumbles and turns around, burying his face in his pillow.

“Get up or I’ll get the hose,” Derek says.

“You do that.”

Derek leaves and Stiles falls asleep again, only to shoot out of the bed in shock when something cold and wet hits him at the back of his neck.

“What the fuck!” he shrieks.

It’s not a water hose, but a spray bottle that Derek’s holding in his hand as he smirks.

“Are you fucking crazy, dude? What the fuck!”

“Go help Isaac,” Derek says and aims the bottle at Stiles’ face.

“Fuck, no! I’m-”

A hard, cold jet of water hits him straight in the face, making him sputter.

“It wasn’t a question. Go. Help. Isaac. Now.”

Stiles picks up his clothes from the chair next to the bed and shoulders past Derek to the bathroom. He doesn’t dare take too long in there though. The house is quiet when he finally walks down the stairs and out the back. A few horses are already in their pastures and Isaac is just walking out of the stable with one horse in each hand. Stiles waits for him by the door.

Letting the horses out isn’t very hard it turns out. They want to get out and know where they’re going. Isaac lets Stiles lead the tiny horse Monsieur Wood, Erica’s grey gelding Lucky and a chestnut gelding named Falcon (even though he’s a horse) while Isaac takes the rest.

“Do you ride too?” Stiles asks as they walk back to the stables.

“No.” Isaac takes the lead rope from Stiles and hangs it outside Falcon’s box. “I just help out every now and then. Derek tells me you’re to do the mucking by yourself. Have fun.”

With those words, Isaac leaves Stiles alone with all the horse shit. He sighs and gets to work. He’s been doing this quite a lot lately and knows the drill by now. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to shake the fork to get the shavings to fall off without dropping all the dung as well.

Stiles thinks he’s getting better at least.  


 

John picks him up that afternoon and  Stiles notices right away that there’s something not quite right with his dad. He fiddles with the stereo and asks a lot about the ranch and the horses and the Hales. They get through an awkward dinner until John finally opens his mouth to say what’s been on his mind this whole time.

“I’ve bought tickets to Los Angeles,” he says and Stiles perks up. Los Angeles might not be New York, but it’s hell of a lot better than Beacon Hills at least, Stiles is sure. John winces and Stiles frowns. “For me and-”

“Not for the two of us?“ Stiles asks and his father doesn’t meet his eyes. “For you and someone else?

His dad nods and Stiles clenches his fists against his thighs under the table.

“You know I’ve been dating Melissa for a while-”

“I don’t care what her name is.”

“Stiles.” The tone his reprimanding, but also sad.

“So you’re replacing mom then?”

John stares at him, mouth open and blue eyes wide. Stiles stares back, jaw clenched and unflinching. It’s only two and a half years since Claudia died, it’s way too early for John to find someone new, isn’t it?

“I’m not replacing anyone,” John says tiredly. “Look, Stiles. I’m sure you and Melissa-”

Stiles grimaces at the name again. Melissa, stupid, ugly name.

“-would get along fine if you met. She has a son your age. You and him used to play when you were kids. He wants to become a farrier. He’s a really nice kid.”

“If he’s such a nice kid, why don’t you adopt him? Probably better than the spazzy kid you currently have, huh? You can replace me with him and mom with Melissa. Such a nice little family you’d be.”

“Stiles, that’s not what I’m doing.”

John looks tired and resigned suddenly and Stiles clenches his fists so tightly it hurts.

“If you don’t want me to go, I-”

“No, go. I don’t care. I’m gonna spend my time snorting coke and shooting heroin.”

“Stiles.”

“Thanks for dinner.”

He goes to his room and locks the door. He contemplates staying there but he doesn’t want to talk to his dad. John will most likely come up and try to reason with him and Stiles doesn’t want to be reasoned with.

He opens the window and eyes the roof outside. He’s thought of climbing down the drain many times, but he’s never really had the guts or the need to do so. He does now though, wants to get away from his father’s disapproving looks. He sighs and climbs out through the window. The roof seems steeper now than it seems when he’s inside looking out. He cuts his hand on a nail as he starts climbing down the drainpipe.

It’s slow going and his heart is beating like mad. Why did he think this was a good idea?

He’s not too far from the ground when his feet slip and he falls down, landing on his back in the wet grass. He gasps for breath and blinks up at the stars for a few minutes before getting up, brushing away any lingering grass from his pants.

The key to his Jeep is inside so he starts walking instead. He considers going to Lydia, but Lydia isn’t his girlfriend anymore. He then considers going to Jackson, but Lydia is Jackson’s girlfriend. And Jackson wouldn’t understand anyway.

He ends up at Danny’s house. Danny isn’t there though.

“Can I borrow your phone?” he asks Mrs. Mahealani who nods and smiles and is all motherly as she guides Stiles into the hallway and to the phone.

Someone picks up on the third ring.

“Hey, it’s me,” he says even though he hasn’t called enough times for them to know who he is. He might never have called before actually.

“Stiles? Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s fine. Just…”

He’s silent for a while, contemplating hanging up even, but then thinks of going back home to face his dad and he’s not ready for that.

“Could you come get me?”

“Sure. Where are you?”

He gives the address and goes to wait outside, declining Mrs. Mahealani’s offer to wait in their home. They’ve probably got better things’ to do.

A black Camaro approaches him barely even ten minutes later. It’s not Laura behind the wheel though, but Derek.

“What are you doing here?” Stiles blurts out.

Derek glares. “Laura said you needed someone to pick you up, I was at the store.”

Stiles nods and climbs into the car. It’s quite a nice car, but he doesn’t tell Derek this.

The ride to the Hale Ranch is silent and awkward. Derek is quiet, no surprises there, while Stiles is still angry at his dad for… well, for moving on, for forgetting.

They arrive at the farm and Stiles gets out of the car, wondering what to do now. He’s never been there when he’s not been working.

“You can help with feeding the horses and getting them inside,” Derek tells him and Stiles almost feels relieved that he has something to do.

Derek shows him how to measure the different kinds of food for the horses, because apparently it’s not just as easy as giving them all the same. Stiles doesn’t really understand, but empties the buckets in the mangers Derek tells him to.

He doesn’t really know why he suddenly starts talking to Derek. They’ve been working in companionable silence for a while and it’s been good, but Stiles always needs to ruin good things, doesn’t he?

“My dad’s been seeing a new woman,” he tells Derek, who just hums in reply. “I bet she’s only dating him because he’s the sheriff.”

Derek doesn’t say anything, so Stiles continues.

“I can’t believe he’s just moving on from mom like that.”

“Maybe he’s lonely?” Derek supplies.

Stiles glares at him. If Derek’s going to take Stiles’ dad’s side in this, he can just stay quiet.

“Lonely?”

“Yeah, people can get lonely sometimes, you know.”

He still has me! Stiles wants to scream at Derek’s frowning face, but he doesn’t, because he’s not sure Derek and his dad think that’s such a good thing, and he doesn’t want to see the truth reflecting on Derek’s face.

“She has a kid,” he says instead. “My age, dad said. Probably some loser who hasn’t even had a girlfriend.”

Derek sighs heavily but doesn’t say anything, just measures up food which he pours into an empty bucket.

“This is the last one. Give this to Belle,” he says and Stiles does as he’s asked before he returns to Derek’s side.

“He’s going to LA with her. As if our plans doesn’t matter.”

“What plans?”

“We were going to go to New York this summer. But now he’s going to LA with his new girlfriend instead.”

Derek rolls his eyes at that and Stiles frowns.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothing,” Derek says, which is so clearly a lie.

“No. Come on. Tell me.”

Derek sighs, obviously giving in, “Your father is probably desperate for some mature company. He trusted you and you blew it to hang out with your friends, and then you have the guts to whine to me about not getting to come with him.”

Derek’s tone is even and he stares straight at Stiles.

“What? I-”

“You know what your problem is, Stiles?”

“Right now, you.” Stiles glares at him, but Derek continues as if Stiles hasn’t spoken.

“You and every other popular kid think this is all about you, that the world revolves around you. No one cares about you and your stupid clique. No one but you. I have no idea what happened to you that make you this way and frankly, I don’t really give a damn.”

“I lost my mom, okay?”

The words are out of Stiles’ mouth before he has a chance to stop them and tuck them back into the very deepest parts of his brain.

“I lost my mom and it ruined me.”

Derek rolls his eyes, as if he’s heard this excuse a million times. It makes Stiles furious. He shoves at Derek, wanting to smash his stupid head in. Derek, of course, barely stumbles backwards.

“You have no idea what it’s like losing a parent!” Stiles yells at him and something in Derek’s expression changes.

He looked angry, livid actually, before, but now calmness settles over his features. His jaw is clenched though, so Stiles knows he’s still angry.

“You’re right,” Derek says.

He doesn’t look at Stiles, he looks somewhere to Stiles’ left, and Stiles thinks, for a millisecond, that he’s won.

“I have no idea what it’s like losing one parent.”

Red lights suddenly go off in Stiles’ head. He wants to push pause. Rewind. Anything.

“I lost two.”

The words are quiet, but Stiles hears them and they echo inside him. Derek lost two.

“Derek, I’m-”

“I want you gone from here. We don’t need your help. I release you from your obligation. Find someone to drive you home. Or walk home. I don’t give a fuck.”

Derek turns and walks away.

Stiles wants to call him back, but he doesn’t know what he should say anyway. I’m sorry doesn’t really seem to cover anything at all.

To his great fear and self-loathing, he feels his eyes sting. He wants to hide from the rest of the world, from Derek, and the truth – the truth that he’s been a complete ass towards his dad, and if his dad actually does want to replace him, Stiles couldn’t really blame him.

He sneaks out the back of the stable and sits down along the wall in the shadows, hoping that no one will see him. He takes a deep breath but everything he’s said comes up, everything he’s done; the fact that he’s lied to his dad several times and then acted as if he’s the victim.

His mom would probably be really disappointed in him. His dad is disappointed in him.

He sniffles, his throat hurts and he doesn’t mean to let the tears fall.

“Hello?” someone calls out suddenly, and Stiles tries not to make a sound. “Is everything – Stiles?”

Suddenly, Scott is there in front of him.

“Dude, are you alright?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine and dandy. What does it look like?” Stiles snaps.

Scott winces and Stiles expects him to leave . Instead Scott sits down next to him, close enough so Stiles can feel the heat from him, but their shoulders don’t touch.

“I’ve been an ass to everyone,” Stiles can’t help blurting out.

Scott doesn’t say anything, because yeah, Stiles has been an ass to him too. And for what? So he got to sit at the cool table in the cafeteria? Look at what that gave him; none of his friends really care.

“Fuck. I’ve screwed up.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

Stiles gives a choked-out laugh. Typical Scott, trying to see the silver lining.

“It wasn’t my weed that they found,” Stiles says, totally off topic.

“I know.”

…Which, huh?

“Huh?”

“You’d never do drugs,” Scott simply says.

It’s true, Stiles wouldn’t. Hell, he didn’t really want to keep Jackson’s stuff either.

Every time he looked at them the only thing he could think of was that time when he was ten and he’d been at the station when a drug addict came there. It had been a horrible experience to see the man cramp and spasm over the floor. It was probably something stronger and worse than weed, but the image stuck in Stiles’ mind and he couldn’t sleep alone for weeks.

Scott knows this because he was there when they were going to have a sleepover at Greenberg’s house and Stiles couldn’t fall asleep. Scott faked being ill and his mom came and got him and Stiles. Stiles ended up sleeping just fine on the floor in Scott’s room that night.

“I’m sorry for abandoning you,” Stiles murmured.

“Yeah, me too,” Scott says and nudges Stiles’ shoulder with his. “Want me to drive you home? I heard Derek wasn’t going to.”

Stiles winces. “He hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“Yeah, he does.”

Scott doesn’t object this time and Stiles snorts on something that is half a laugh and half a sob.

“He’ll grow to like you, I promise.”

“I’m not coming back,” Stiles tells Scott. “He fired me.”

“Laura vetoed his firing you. You’re unfired.”

In the beginning of the summer, just a couple of weeks ago, Stiles would have given anything to be released from his job at the Hale Ranch, but now he feels an odd sense of relief at still being able to come tomorrow.

Scott helps him up and drives him home on his rusty motorcycle.

“I- Thanks, man,” Stiles says as Scott drops him off, because there’s no reason for Scott to be nice to him, and yet he is. Scott just gives him a lopsided grin and drives off.

His father isn’t home, probably having been called in to work again. He doesn’t get back before Stiles goes to bed and the next morning when Stiles wakes up, his dad is already gone. Jordan comes by to drive him.

That evening Stiles takes the time to clean the house and cook something until his dad gets off his shift. He has prepared a whole speech, he’s going to say that he’s sorry for the way he’s behaved and that he wants his dad to be happy – he really, really does – but when his dad steps into the kitchen and stares, all words seem to have abandoned Stiles.

“I made chili,” Stiles says, which wasn’t what he rehearsed at all.

“I can see that,” his dad says, taking a step into the kitchen.

“Dad, I’m… I’m sorry,” Stiles begins and tries to remember the next part of his speech, but his dad pulls him into a tight hug and Stiles can’t remember anything else.

“Don’t worry about it, kid,” he says and they stand there for a long time.

“Let’s eat. I’m starving,” John says at last and that’s it, that’s all they say, but he smiles at Stiles and he smiles back and they’re okay.


	2. Chapter 2

“I want you to teach me how to ride,” Stiles asks Erica when he meets her in the stable where she’s preparing Lucky for a ride.

Erica snorts as she places the saddle on Lucky.

“Because it’ll only take an hour tops,” she says and he nods, because that’s what he thought. “I was being- No, you know what? I’ll teach you.”

“Can I ride Lucky?” Stiles asks because Lucky is the nicest horse of all of them.

“You’re too tall for him,” Erica says. “Falcon’s better for you, but you have to ask Laura or Derek-”

“Laura,” Stiles interrupts and Erica snorts.

“Yeah, ask Laura and I’ll teach you after I’ve ridden, okay?”

Stiles nods and heads off to the house. Laura is in her office, doing whatever it is she does for a living aside from managing the ranch. He knocks on the open door and steps inside when Laura tells him to.

“Erica is gonna teach me how to ride,” he tells her and Laura looks really amused by this, for some reason. “I was wondering if I can borrow Falcon for that.”

Laura nods. “Sure, you can. Erica knows where his tack is. Are you planning on jumping with him?”

Stiles shrugs, it looks rather cool when he’s seen Derek and Erica do it.

“Yeah, sure, why not?”

The corner of Laura’s mouth twitches, and Stiles gets the feeling he’s missed something.

“You’ll need other shoes than those,” she tells him, nodding at his sneakers. “Something with more heel so your feet won’t get stuck in the stirrups.”

She gets up from her chair and shows him to the entrance by the kitchen. She hands him a pair of brown boots and Stiles hesitates.

“These are Isaac or Derek’s shoes. Try them on.”

“Won’t Derek be mad if-”

“It’s Isaac’s,” Laura says and Stiles knows that she still doesn’t know whom the shoes belongs to, but hopefully she’ll back him up if Derek finds out Stiles borrowed his boots. Unless Derek kills him first.

The boots fit and Laura shoos him out of the house, telling him to go wait for Erica.

When Erica’s done riding Lucky, Stiles helps her with brushing him and then Erica gives him a halter and a lead rope and they go to Falcon’s pasture. It’s quite easy to get the halter onto Falcon and lead him into the stable.

Erica shows him where he can find Falcon’s brushes and how to brush and clean the hooves (which is quite scary because Falcon’s hooves are huge). She then tells him the different parts of the saddle and shows him how to put it on the horse. Stiles is confused as it doesn’t have a saddle horn and Erica tells him – while giving him a look that clearly states that he’s an idiot – that only western saddles have a horn and this is an English saddle.

“How the hell should I know that?” Stiles grumbles and watches as Erica fastens the girth around Falcon’s belly.

“And now the bridle,” Erica says and fetches the bridle. “The bit goes into the mouth. You might want to help him open his mouth by putting your finger in the corner of his mouth.”

“Won’t he bite?” Stiles asks and watches as Erica puts on the bridle.

Erica just rolls her eyes and shows him which leather strap should be fastened where and how hard. Stiles didn’t think it was this much work just getting the horse ready.

“And for your safety,” Erica says and she leads him to the tack room.

She hands him what looks like a bulletproof vest and a helmet. He puts on the vest and Erica helps him adjust it and then tries on a few different helmets until they find one that fits.

Stiles leads Falcon to the riding paddock. He’s incredibly nervous, which is weird because it’s just horseback riding, for god’s sake!  In his head, Falcon seems to have grown since they left the stable though, and Stiles can feel his heart beating like mad in his chest.

Erica shows him how they can adjust the length of the stirrups from the ground and he does as she says.

“Put your foot in the stirrup and swing yourself up,” she tells him and he tries, he really does, but he can’t manage to just swing himself up.

“It’s a lot harder than it looks like,” he tells her and she seems really unimpressed

She goes to get a stool that sits by the side and when Stiles can stand on that and then swing himself up, it’s much easier.

“Oh, my god. I’m riding,” he says.

“You’re sitting,” Erica corrects, “on a horse that’s standing still.”

Stiles is about to retort, but then Falcon starts walking and he’s too busy holding onto Falcon’s mane to reply.

“Now I’m riding,” he says and Erica snorts.

“Barely.”

Erica decides that Stiles should try trotting after some time of Stiles riding around in the paddock. Stiles doesn’t think he’s ready for that. He’s still not used to the way the horse moves underneath him and trotting is really fast and really bumpy.

“Try to rise and fall in pace with the horse,” Erica instructs him, as if it’s the easiest thing to do, when she’s running beside him.

“I’mma fall off,” Stiles tells her and he does feel himself tilting to his right, even though he tries to hold onto Falcon’s red mane.

Erica – bless her – slows them down and Stiles manages to right himself now that Falcon is no longer running.

He tries trotting three more times before Erica says it’s enough. Stiles kind of agrees with her. He might start chafing in places he doesn’t want to chafe.

“That was fun,” he says, and realizes that it’s true as they walk back to the stable, Stiles leading Falcon by the reins.

“I know, right?” Erica grins at him and once inside they each take one of Falcon’s sides to brush. Falcon looks like he really enjoys it. When they’re done, Erica hands him a greenish brown colored, round piece.

“It’s a treat for Falcon.”

Falcon is looking at Stiles expectantly, as if he’s realized what Stiles has in his hand. Stiles is reluctant though to place his hand that close to a horse’s mouth.

“Won’t he bite?”

“No, just give it to him,” Erica laughs.

Stiles hesitates and then does as she says. Falcon’s lips are a bit scratchy against his palm as the horse takes the candy without biting Stiles’ hand off. Stiles smiles and pats the horse’s forehead.

“You did good today,” he tells the horse softly.

“Let’s get him back to the pasture,” Erica says after putting away Falcon’s brushes.

Stiles leads him to the pasture and watches as Falcon rolls around in the grass before he walks up to the waterer – the same kind that’s inside the stable, Stiles notices. Stiles watches as the horse gulps down a large amount of water before he walks off to the shade of a tree to graze next to his friend.

  


The next day, Stiles entire body is hurting and he has a terrible ache in muscles he wasn’t even aware he had in his thighs.

“You guys are crazy,” he tells Erica as she helps him mucking.

When he arrived at the ranch that morning, Erica told him that Derek said he was ready to do it without supervision and that she decided to stick around to talk to him. When he was taking too slow, she picked up her own pitchfork and started mucking while talking to him.

Stiles wonders what Derek would say about his girlfriend talking to him. While Derek has never liked him, he hasn’t avoided him up until now, and the worst part is that Stiles can’t even blame him. He kind of hates himself too right now.  Erica doesn’t seem to hate him though, and he enjoys her company, even though he knows she’d pick Derek over him if it came down to it (he would too, to be honest).

“My legs are killing me,” Stiles complains and Erica grins.

“It’ll get better.”

They muck in silence for a few minutes before Erica asks, “So are you up for another ride later?”

Stiles can’t help but grin. “Hell yeah!”

Which is how he finds himself on Falcon’s back once again. This time they leave the paddock and Erica rides Lucky. They ride side by side and Stiles can’t stop smiling. He enjoys the slight wagging as Falcon walks and he feels himself getting more and more used to it. They trot for a while and Stiles gets more used to that as well, the rising and sitting in pace with Falcon’s trot. The forest around them is beautiful and Stiles almost feels silly about how calm and happy he feels as he looks between the trees.

“I’d love to see you canter,” Erica says as they slow down and head back on the trails through the woods.  “But I think we’ll save that for another day at the paddock.”

Stiles nods with a grin that’s probably ridiculous, feeling kind of ecstatic at having trotted through the woods on a huge horse.

When they get back he brushes Falcon’s red coat for a long time and talks to the horse softly, telling him how good he’s been.  


 

His legs hurt for a few days, but he gets up on the horse’s back every day despite that. He falls off on the fourth day, but aside from feeling a bit winded, he’s not hurt. He gets back up again, because Laura tells him to in a stern voice. He tries to canter and it’s awesome. It’s easier to sit down during a canter than a trot. The canter is not nearly as static and bumpy as the trot is. It’s also faster and Stiles loves to feel the wind in his face when they ride out and canter in the woods.

Stiles gets more confident in his riding until he feels like he can handle Falcon alone. One day, when he’s putting on Falcon’s riding equipment, Derek walks into the stable. They haven’t talked much – barely at all, really – since their argument, but Derek has taken to glaring at him every chance he gets. Stiles can’t really blame him.

“What the hell are you doing?” Derek asks, his jaw clenched and hands fisted by his sides.

“Tacking up,” Stiles says with an eye roll.

Derek frowns at him and yeah, Stiles is quite impressed with himself for learning horse terms.

“You don’t ride,” Derek says.

“Sure, I do. Laura and Erica have been teaching me.”

Derek frowns even harder at that, but he also looks slightly hurt. Hurt that Erica hasn’t told him anything about it? Or hurt that Erica even helps Stiles? Probably both. He probably hates Stiles for hanging out with Derek’s girlfriend.

“Are you going out alone?” Derek asks and Stiles nods. He’s been riding out in the woods by himself two times now, so he got this.

“I’m coming with you,” Derek states and leaves without another word.

He comes back with a brown horse called King; his real name is King Arthur and he’s a brother to one of the pregnant mares, Ginny. Derek brushes King quickly and is a lot quicker than Stiles at tacking up.

The ride is awkward. Stiles’ usual company is way more talkative and doesn’t hold a grudge against him. It’s still fun though, because riding is always fun, Stiles has come to realize.

“This was fun, let’s do it again sometime,” Stiles says when they get back.

Derek stares at him as if he’s grown a second head. Stiles gives him an awkward smile. He had been joking, but Derek’s looking at him as if he was serious.

“Come on, big guy,” Stiles says and leads Falcon inside, listening as Derek and King follow them.

 

 

Stiles takes to reading about horses every chance he gets. He’s been googling different breeds and colors and one night, on a whim, he types in Talia Hale – Laura, Derek and Cora’s mother’s name.

He doesn’t expect to find anything, maybe some results from some competition, because Laura had told him she also used to ride. Turns out, Talia Hale has her own Wikipedia page.

He reads about the Hale siblings’ mother and gapes at what he finds out. He thought the Hales were just horse nerds, but turns out, they’re the famous kind of horse nerds. Talia has won a lot of competitions, and not just locally, because she was in the top ten of show jumpers in the world for years. During the last few years, she had been riding Falcon and Stiles is delighted to notice that Falcon has his own Wikipedia page as well.

Stiles also reads about the car accident that killed both Talia, her husband, and her youngest son along with two of their horses.

He feels as if he’s done something wrong after he’s read about the accident. He feels like maybe Laura should have told him about it instead. He wonders if he should talk to Laura about it tomorrow or if he should just let it go.

He doesn’t get time to talk to Laura because when he comes to the Hale Ranch the next day, Laura and Erica are on their way to leave for some kind of training camp for horses. Lucky and Laura’s horse Lancelot are coming with them.

Stiles knows they’d told him about it, but he had completely forgotten. At least he’ll still have Cora and Isaac, he thinks, because even if neither of them like him, they talk to him and he doesn’t feel inept at breathing (most of the time, at least).

Then he remembers that the two of them are going on a camping trip with some other friends, which means he’ll be left alone with Derek. And tomorrow night he’s going to stay the night – at least that was what they had planned.

Maybe Derek will give him a ride home just so he gets rid of Stiles?

  


They avoid each other all day the next day, but when dinnertime comes around Stiles is tired of being quiet.

“I’ll make us something,” he says and Derek stares at him in surprise. Is it really that much of a surprise that Stiles can make dinner? “What do you say about pasta bolognese?”

Derek nods somewhat hesitantly but opens the fridge, retrieving mince and tomato sauce. Stiles gives him a smile as thanks and gets to work. Derek doesn’t leave, but hovers awkwardly for some time as Stiles fries the mince along with onion.

“Do you wanna make the salad?” Stiles asks and Derek gets to work on the salad without a word.

“My mom and I used to make pasta bolognese,” Stiles tells Derek when they’ve been working in silence side by side for some time.

Derek is quiet for so long after that that Stiles doesn’t know if Derek’s even heard him. When he looks over at him, the other man has stopped cutting the tomatoes and is looking down at them with a frown. Stiles wonders if he crossed some line, if Derek remembers what he said about Derek not knowing what it’s like to lose a parent.

Stiles opens his mouth to say something, maybe apologize, but Derek beats him to it.

“Me and mom used to make pizza,” he offers and Stiles nods with a small smile. “It was the best pizza.”

“Maybe you can make it for me some time,” Stiles says before he can stop himself.

Derek doesn’t look offended at that though, more exasperated and amused at the same time.

“Maybe,” he says and Stiles grins at that.

He thinks of apologizing but that would ruin the moment and probably make Derek hate him again. He vows to apologize some time soon though.

But for now though, this seems like progress.  


 

He doesn’t expect to be awoken in the middle of the night by Derek shaking him roughly.

“Where’s the fire?” he mumbles and pushes Derek’s hand away.

“Ginny is giving birth!” Derek says and that makes Stiles sit up straight in his bed.

“What? Now?”

“Yes, now!” Derek barks and leaves the room.

Stiles is wide awake and alert. He pulls on his stable clothes and is only a few feet behind Derek as the man runs across the yard to the stable. Derek turns on a few of the lights in the aisle and hurries to Ginny’s box. The bay mare is lying on her side and Stiles can see something weird sticking out of her ass – or her vagina. Is it called vagina on a horse? Stiles is too fascinated by the happenings in front of him to ask Derek about it.

Derek leans against the half-wall of the box and Stiles does the same.

“Shouldn’t you help her?” Stiles asks after some moments of silence in which more of the foal has come out.

“Not unless she needs me to,” Derek says and Stiles thinks that that makes sense.

“It’s the legs,” Stiles realizes after another few moments of silence in which tiny horse legs are coming out of the mare.

“Nothing gets past you, does it?” Derek remarks but for once he doesn’t seem to be angry at Stiles. When Stiles turns to him he notices the side of Derek’s mouth twitching and Stiles realizes that Derek’s almost smiling at his own words.

Stiles can’t help but smile himself so he turns to the horse and pretends that that’s why he’s smiling. It’s only half a lie, seeing a new life come to the world is kind of awesome.

It’s also gross, Stiles realizes when mama horse has pushed out the whole foal. It’s covered in some kind of bubble and then mama horse sniffs her baby and starts to lick the bubble.

“Oh, my god,” Stiles says and backs away to sit on a stool that’s conveniently placed on the other side of the aisle next to Falcon’s box.

For a few seconds Stiles thinks he’s going to get sick or faint. He feels nauseous and his head is spinning. Falcon comes up to the opening in his door and nuzzles Stiles’ head with his large muzzle.

“Yeah, I know, buddy,” Stiles says and pats the horse absentmindedly. He notices Derek giving him quite an amused look but he ignores it. Right now he has more important things to concentrate on, like not throwing up.

After maybe fifteen minutes, Stiles feels a lot better and gets up from the low stool and goes to stand beside Derek again. The foal is now free from the bubble and the blood. The mom looks tired but content.

“He’s so tiny,” Stiles says, because the foal is. Unlike Monsieur Wood, who’s not a foal at all, this one is basically a small body on long, thin legs. It takes quite a few tries before the foal manages to stand and suckle from its mother’s udder.

“Let’s get back inside,” Derek says and Stiles yawns when he remembers that it’s the middle of the night.

They don’t say much before going back to bed and Stiles falls asleep immediately.

  


The next day Stiles is up early despite being up half the night.

“There’s a foal!” is all the explanation he gives when Derek raises his eyebrows upon seeing Stiles come into the kitchen. Derek is at the table checking his phone and eating breakfast so Stiles hurries to prepare his own breakfast before sitting down at the table.

“What should we name him?” Stiles asks and Derek looks up from his phone, his eyebrows frowning. “Don’t be like that. The foal should have a name!”

Derek sighs and rolls his eyes. Stiles can see his mouth twitching though. It feels like a small victory every time Stiles gets some reaction from Derek that isn’t a bad one.

“His mom’s name is Guinevere-”

“Isn’t it Ginny?” Stiles asks, because that’s what he’s been calling the mare after Erica having told him the horse’s name. Maybe he remembers wrong?

“Ginny is short for Guinevere,” Derek tells him, but doesn’t seem as tired as he usually is when Stiles asks questions. He continues softly, “His step-brother is King Arthur so I guess-”

“Merlin!” Stiles exclaims. “Can’t he be named Merlin?”

Derek looks hesitant, as if there are a lot of better names than Merlin. To Stiles there is no better name for the foal.

“I’ll think about it,” Derek offers at last and Stiles grins at him.

They leave not long after breakfast so that could let out the horses. They lead them out, Stiles getting to take the calmer ones like Monsieur Wood and Falcon while Derek takes the others. They leave Ginny and Merlin for last and then Derek takes them to one of the smaller pastures, only leading Ginny while Merlin trots beside his mother, sometimes stopping to sniff the ground but never leaving his mother’s side for too long.

Merlin is brown like his mother, a lighter shade than when he was born, and he has a broad stripe of white across his face just like Ginny – it’s called a blaze apparently. Stiles follows them and watches as Merlin gets spooked - or at least pretending to get spooked - before sticking closer to Ginny’s side.

Stiles closes the pasture after Derek and the horses and watches as Merlin sniffs at the grass, mimicking Ginny’s grazing. Derek comes out of the pasture and motions towards the stable with his head.

“Shouldn’t you be doing the mucking?”

“Soon,” Stiles says as he watches Merlin daring to go a bit further from his mother’s side before rushing back. “He’s so cool.”

Derek lets out an exasperated sigh, mostly for show Stiles thinks, before he goes back to the stable. Stiles stays a bit longer, watching Merlin, before he starts with the mucking in the stable.

He takes more frequent breaks than usual, just so he can go check how Merlin is doing. Derek sees him but doesn’t say anything. He’s frowning though and Stiles wonders why Derek isn’t more thrilled about Merlin’s birth.

As Derek is the only company he has on the farm, he starts talking to Derek whenever they’re close. Derek rarely replies, but sometimes Stiles thinks he sees the corners of Derek’s mouth twitch upwards when Stiles says something funny – most of the time it’s not supposed to be funny though.

They ride together almost every day, and while the first few times were awkward, Stiles has taken to talking as he would do if it was Laura or Erica. Okay, maybe not exactly like if it was either of the girls, there are still too many awkward silences.

But maybe in a few years Derek will stop hating Stiles.

 

 

It’s the morning three days after Merlin’s birth when Stiles walks up to the box and gets the feeling that something is wrong. Merlin is lying in the corner, unmoving. It’s nothing unusual. He usually lies on his side when he sleeps, but Ginny doesn’t walk up to Stiles like she usually does. Instead, she stands with her muzzle hanging low, brushing against Merlin’s side.

“Ginny, what’s wrong?” Stiles asks and the horse doesn’t even react. “Derek!”

Derek comes towards him from where he just left Bella in her pasture.

“There’s something wrong with Merlin!”

Derek opens the box and steps inside while Stiles stays outside. He takes one look at Merlin and sighs heavily.

“He’s dead,” he says.

“What? He can’t be! He was fine yesterday!”

“It happens,” Derek says and when he tries to lift Merlin, Ginny shoves at him and glares, whinnying angrily.

Derek slowly backs out of the box. Stiles stares at the body of the foal. Derek shrugs and goes to lead King Arthur to his pasture.

“You can’t just leave him!” Stiles cries out, flailing his arms in the direction of the dead foal. He feels tears burn in his eyes, but refuses to let them fall where Derek can see.

“Ginny wouldn’t let me take him yet,” Derek says as he leads Arthur past Stiles, who’s still standing outside Ginny’s box, and out to the horse’s pasture.

Stiles doesn’t know what to say to that. It just feels wrong leaving the dead foal – Ginny’s baby – there. When he tries to approach the foal himself though, Ginny’s ears lay flat against her head, something Stiles has been taught means she’s angry. He backs out of the box again.

“What do you think went wrong? Was it something we did?” he asks Derek when the other man comes back inside.

“He was tiny.” He shrugs and moves to fasten the leadrope in Lady Belle’s halter. “I thought he might not make it.”

“How can you be so nonchalant?” Stiles cries at him and fuck, he feels the tears burn in his eyes.

“Shit happens,” is Derek’s only reply before he leaves with Lady Belle walking beside him..

Stiles follows him outside, he can’t stand to watch Ginny and the dead Merlin anymore. He walks over to where Falcon is grazing, ignoring Derek’s look of confusion. He notices Derek sigh and walk into the stable again, but he ignores it.

“Hey, big guy,” he mumbles to Falcon and lets the horse nuzzle his chest as he scratches it between his ears. “Merlin died.”

At last he lets the tears fall.

  


It’s two days later, a few days before Laura and Erica are due to come home, that Stiles notices something different in Ginny’s box. Merlin is still lying in the same corner, but his body is covered in wood shavings. As if Ginny has buried her baby.

“Oh, my god,” Stiles whispers because he realizes that it’s exactly like that.

He hurries to get Derek who’s fixing the fence to one of the pastures.

“Derek, I think we can move Merlin.”

Derek nods and puts down his hammer in the grass before rising, wiping his forehead with his arm, and going to get the tractor. Stiles goes back to the stable and opens Ginny’s box. She lets out a low neigh and he pats her forehead, trying but failing to not look at Merlin.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” he whispers to the horse.

He hears the door open and footsteps coming inside. Derek pulls Merlin out by his legs as Stiles looks away and pets Ginny’s forehead. Derek comes back inside again.

“I’m going to head off to the McCredie’s and see if I can borrow their digging machine. I’ll dig a hole for him out in the woods.”

Stiles nods and Derek leaves without another word. Stiles doesn’t dare to go outside. He’s quite certain that Merlin’s body will be lying in the ladle of the tractor and he doesn’t want to see that. Instead, he takes Ginny out of her stall and throws out the shavings that Merlin had been lying on. He then brushes Ginny thoroughly and gives her plenty of treats.

Derek comes back almost an hour later and Stiles has been trying to braid Ginny’s mane – key word being trying.

“I’ve dug the hole,” Derek informs him. “Do you want to come with me or…”

Stiles nods and leads Ginny back to her stall.

“Can’t she have a smaller box now?”

“We’ll see if someone needs a nurse mare first,” Derek says and that sounds good even if Stiles doesn’t really know what a nurse mare is.

Stiles doesn’t look at the ladle as he waits for Derek to take his place in the seat. There’s no place for Stiles to sit so he has to stand next to Derek, bent awkwardly so he won’t hit his head in the ceiling..

Derek drives them on the same road that Stiles has been riding on almost daily, but where Stiles usually turns left, Derek turns right. It’s a bumpy ride until they reach a clearing. A digging machine is standing next to a hole and Derek gently tips the ladle and Merlin falls down in the hole. Stiles looks away and blinks hard a couple of times.

Derek parks the tractor and they get out and Stiles watches as Derek shoves dirt over the hole until the ground is almost flat again. Derek climbs out of the digging machine and looks at Stiles.

He seems just as unconcerned as he has done throughout this whole ordeal and Stiles wants to scream at him. Doesn’t he realize they just buried a foal that was way too young to die?

“Can you drive the tractor back?” Derek asks and Stiles nods. He might not be allowed to drive his jeep, but he thinks it’s okay to drive the tractor back to the farm. The tractor is a bit hard to drive at first but he gets the hang of it soon enough.

Tara comes and picks him up before Derek has gotten back home again. Stiles talks to her about the horses, but doesn’t say anything about Merlin.

  


Stiles goes for a ride by himself the next day. Well, not entirely by himself, Falcon is there with him. He pats the horse’s neck absentmindedly as they walk down the usual path. Instead of turning left like he’s always done before, Stiles steers right towards the clearing where Merlin was buried. He didn’t feel as if he got to say a real goodbye.

The clearing is empty and the only thing out of place is the stirred dirt where Merlin is lying. Stiles gets off Falcon’s back – he’ll have problems coming up again later, he knows, but he does it anyway.

When he approaches the grave he’s surprised to see a bouquet of flowers lying on top of the dark soil. His first thought is that it’s Laura or Erica, but then he remembers that neither of them is back yet. Either the neighbors have placed the flowers there or Derek has. Stiles almost believes that it’s the neighbors. After all, Derek has seemed so unconcerned by Merlin’s death, why would he place flower on the grave?

Falcon shoves at his side with his muzzle, clearly having grown bored of standing still.

“Yeah, yeah,” Stiles says and pats the horse absentmindedly.

He leads Falcon back to the road at the side of the clearing when he notices some weird markings on a nearby tree. He can see that someone has carved out the markings, but it’s not until he walks closer that he realizes that it’s letters. They are names, he realizes, weird names, like Lady Star and Misty and Milky Way, but still names. There are probably ten of them. At the very bottom is the most recent, the one that’s lightest in color.

_Merlin_

Stiles touches the newly-carved in name.

Derek isn’t unaffected by this. He’s not unaffected by this at all.

As Stiles rides home, after taking one last look at the tree and Merlin’s grave, he thinks of what he should say. He doesn’t think ‘hey, I saw that you’d carved in the names of every horse you’ve lost’ would be good enough.The anger at Derek’s unconcerned ways about Merlin’s death dissipates. Derek is probably just as sad over Merlin’ death as Stiles is, maybe even more.

In the end he decides to not say anything at all, but he knows now that there is definitely more to Derek than meets the eye.  


 

Laura and Erica finally come back from their training camp one afternoon. Stiles is in the barn, measuring the horses’ food, when he hears the car outside. He steps outside to greet them. Erica gets out of the passenger side and hurries up to Stiles to give him a hug.

“Be honest, you’ve missed me, haven’t you?” Stiles grins and Erica rolls her eyes but she’s smiling.

“Not that much,” she says and Laura steps up beside them.

“Hi,” she says and hugs Stiles too. Stiles accepts the hug awkwardly and is suddenly well aware that Laura wouldn’t be hugging him if she knew how he had treated Derek. He hopes she’ll never find out.

“And now ends the peace and quiet.”

Derek walks up to them from the house and is greeted by a hug from each of the girls.

“I doubt you’ve had much peace and quiet with Stiles here.” Erica grins at him and winks at Stiles, who pretends to be offended.

“So how have you been? Any foalings?”

Stiles looks at Derek, whose smile disappears and he looks grim again.

“We lost Ginny’s foal,” he says and Stiles feels his eyes sting at the reminder of Merlin.

“Oh, no,” Laura says and her smile is immediately gone as well. “What happened?”

“He was fine at first,” Stiles says and Derek shakes his head.

“He was tiny,” he explains, “but he lived for what? Two days?”

“Three,” Stiles corrects and then tells them how Ginny buried her foal.

“That’s so sad,” Erica says and wipes at her eyes.

“Tell us what you’ve been up to instead,” Stiles suggests and Laura starts telling them about some amazing riding instructor they’d been riding for.  Derek seems to know who this is, but Stiles has never heard of the woman before.

 

 

Having Laura and Erica back is kind of awesome, not only because he enjoys their company but Derek is more prone to come with them for a ride when one of the girls is there. Stiles feels a bit sad though, that Erica and Laura can make Derek laugh, but Stiles can’t. Then again, he knows he only has himself to blame. It’s not that he doesn’t try though. He tries so hard that once he almost falls off Falcon sideways. That time Derek might’ve smiled at him.

Between all the mucking and riding, Stiles suddenly realizes that he doesn’t really miss Lydia, Jackson, Allison and Danny as much as he did at the beginning of the summer. But he misses being able to hang out with people in the evenings though, which is why he gets quite excited when Scott drops by and asks if he wants to come with him and Isaac to the beach that evening. It’s been a warm day with no wind and going to the beach sounds pretty awesome.

Scott seems glad Stiles agreed to come. He then leaves to go find Isaac, the one he was going to invite in the first place. Stiles calls his dad and asks if it’s okay to go with Scott and Isaac to the beach. He knows his father would never agree if Stiles wanted to go with any of his other friends, but John seems to be glad that Scott is the one he’s going with. Stiles knows his dad had always liked Scott and that he was a bit bummed when Scott and Stiles drifted apart.

When Stiles gets home a bit later, he only has time to make some pasta for him and John before he has to go again so he can make it back to see Scott and Isaac.

“Stiles?” his dad says when he’s about to pick up his phone to call Scott if he can come and get him, like they’d decided earlier. His father holds up the keys to the Jeep and Stiles frowns.

“Way to rub it-”

“Catch!”

Stiles fumbles a bit with the keys before managing to catch them.

“Really?”

“Really,” his Dad replies with a smile. “You’ve done a great job at the Hales’ and Derek said you did good when the others were gone.”

Stiles wonders why Derek is lying to his dad, but he doesn’t have time for that now. He grabs his bag with swimwear and goes out to the jeep. He pats the hood fondly and can’t help but smile as he starts the engine. It starts on the very first try.

When he arrives to the beach he recognizes Laura’s Camaro and wonders if Laura herself is there or if Isaac borrowed the car. He parks next to it and can’t help but compare the two, one from 2011 and one from 1983. The jeep still looks quite good despite its age, he thinks, grabs his bag and walks the short path through the woods to the beach.

When he emerges from the woods, he notices that not only is Laura there but Derek as well. Shirtless Derek is there. Stiles knew Derek was ripped but this is just ridiculous.

“Hey, Stilinski!” Erica calls and Stiles notice that she’s there as well. She’s sitting close to a dark guy, almost leaning into him and Stiles wonders what Derek will think about that. He seems like he could be the jealous type, at least when it’s Stiles hanging out with his girlfriend.

“This is Boyd,” Erica introduces the guy she’s leaning against. Derek seems completely unconcerned by this.

“Hi, I’m Stiles,” he says and shakes Boyd’s hand.

“Boyd. Erica’s boyfriend,” he introduces and Stiles laughs at that before he notices that no one else is laughing. He thought Boyd was making a joke because Erica is dating Derek, isn’t she? As no one else seems surprised maybe Stiles got it all wrong.

“Eh, just remembered a funny joke,” Stiles explains his weird outburst and he swears he hears Derek snort from his place on the ground.

He considers sitting down but then he notices that the person who invited him isn’t there.

“Where’s Scott and Isaac?” he asks and tugs a bit on the hem of his shirt. He’s all pale, mole-covered skin with just a few dark hairs on his chest and a slightly thicker happy trail - nothing like Derek’s tanned, broad chest and abs with dark hair and a thick happy trail.

“They’re already out in the water,” Laura points out to the sea and Stiles can see two heads moving in the water.

Stiles really wants to join them, but he can’t bathe with his shirt on. At last he says ‘fuck it’ in his head and pulls off the shirt quickly before rushing to the water.

Scott greets him by splashing water in his face. He even gets some of the salty water in his mouth. He splashes at Scott and then at Isaac just for fun. That’s all it takes before a small war breaks out and it’s awesome. Danny and Jackson always acts too mature to have fun at the beach. They mostly just lay on their towels, flexing their muscles (Stiles would too if he had muscles like them).

They swim for a long time before going back to the shore and the others. Erica is lying with her head in Boyd’s lap now. Derek sits next to her and he’s laughing at something Boyd is saying.

“I bought some baguettes,” Laura says and as they sit down on their respective towels she starts handing out bread and water bottles. She then uncorks a wine bottle, but refuses to serve Stiles, Erica and Scott. Derek doesn’t get any either though he doesn’t seem upset about it. Laura says he’s their designated driver.

It’s nice, Stiles thinks, hanging out with his friends, laughing and talking.

Stiles finds his eyes drifting towards Derek quite a lot. He’s more relaxed than Stiles thinks he’s ever seen him. Stiles considers the possibilities if he hadn’t turned Derek down, wonders if it would have ended at one date or if they’d still be together two years later.

For some reason, he thinks he’d like it if it ended up being the latter.

They’ve been there for maybe two hours when Jordan suddenly shows up. He gives Laura a kiss on the cheek and then sits down next to Derek in the sand.

“I hate old ladies,” are his first words and Derek snorts in amusement at this.

“No, you don’t. You love them when they give you cookies.”

Jordan gets a far-away look on his face and smiles, as if picturing said cookies. Stiles has tasted Mrs. Thompson’s cookies so he understands that look.

“We need more firewood,” Erica says suddenly and holds up her hand. “Rock, paper, scissors.”

After a few rounds, Stiles and Derek end up losing and are elected to get some more firewood for the fire they have lit. The woods are darker than the beach, but they’re still able to see a bit. Stiles picks up a branch from the ground and Derek makes a disapproving noise.

“It’s wet,” he says and steps up next to Stiles. “We’d have a hard time getting the fire to catch. See here?” He shows at the darker end of the branch and when Stiles puts his hand on the wood, it’s indeed damp.

“Okay,” he says and drops the stick on the ground again. He feels a surge of warmth in him, grateful that Derek's helping him now instead of before when he would scold Stiles for whatever he did wrong. The few days they bonded seems to have done their relationship some good.

“Here, this one’s dry,” Derek says after picking up a stick from the ground. He hands over the stick to Stiles and it’s indeed dry.

Stiles finds some more sticks on the ground and makes sure they are dry before he keeps them. He’s too busy looking for sticks that he doesn’t look where he’s going and slips on a root or something. He throws out his hands in front of him as he falls forward.

“Ouch!”

“Stiles! You okay?”

Derek is by his side in no time and Stiles sits up, brushing at his hands.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Derek extends a hand and pulls him to his feet.

“You sure?” Derek asks and Stiles nods. He notices how close they’re standing and he takes a quick step back, almost slipping again but this time Derek grabs his arm, keeping him standing.

“I- Thanks,” Stiles says awkwardly, embarrassed at looking like a fool in front of Derek for the umpteenth time. “I’m always so clumsy, I’m surprised I’ve managed to stay on Falcon as much as I have.”

Derek chuckles at this and turns to Stiles, a small smile playing on his lips.

“You know what they say about good riders?”

Stiles shakes his head.

“You have to fall off a horse’s back a hundred times before you’re a good rider.”

“That’s stupid,” Stiles says and Derek rolls his eyes. “I mean, aren’t you a better rider if you stay _on_ the horse?”

“It’s just a saying. My mom used to tell me that when I fell off as a kid.”

Stiles doesn’t know what to say. He realizes that it’s the first time Derek has mentioned his mother to Stiles and even if it’s just in passing Stiles feels like it’s a huge step. He wonders if he should say something about Derek’s mother, that he had googled her or something? Nah, that sounds creepy.

Thinking about Derek’s mother makes Stiles think of his own mother and for the first time since she died he thinks she would have been proud of him. His mother would not have been proud of Stiles rejecting Derek because he wasn’t cool enough though, but he’s not the same kid he was when he first started helping the Hales so he thinks she’d be proud of him.

“I’m sorry that I rejected you,” Stiles blurts out. He sees Derek tensing and wants to smash his head into a tree trunk or something for making Derek uncomfortable. “Well, for the things afterwards. I should’ve told them off for making fun of you.”

“I got over it,” Derek shrugs.

“Yeah, but still...”

Derek picks up some sticks from the ground and doesn’t look at Stiles. They collect some sticks in awkward silence for a while before Stiles opens his mouth again.

“How many times have you fallen off a horse?” he asks, attempting to keep on talking. Horses is kind of a safe topic when it comes to Derek.

“I don’t know,” Derek shrugs. “Let’s head back.”

They start to walk back towards the sounds of their friends as Stiles continues, “So you could have fallen off a hundred times?”

Derek shrugs again, but he looks a bit amused now.

“Which means that you could be a good rider without knowing it,” Stiles jokes and Derek chuckles at this.

Derek’s eyes meet his and Stiles watches him shake his head in amusement. For some reason, Stiles finds his heart beating slightly faster.  


 

“Can you teach me how to jump?” Stiles asks Derek the next day. Stiles is already done with his usual mucking chores and Derek has just finished brushing Bella after their training.

“Why?”

It’s not a no on the spot, Stiles thinks, and that’s progress.

“Because it’s cool, and Erica said you were the best teacher, though I find it hard to believe, because you usually call me an idiot when I do wrong and I don’t think that’s not a good way to handle students.”

Stiles wants to stop the words but for some reason he can’t. Maybe he forgot to take his Adderall this morning? He hopes Derek realizes it’s a joke instead of taking him seriously. Derek doesn’t look angry though, more amused than anything.

“I believe in being an honest teacher.”

Stiles sputters, but also feels a lot calmer. Derek replied with a joke. Derek smirks before he leaves the stable, leaving Stiles behind.

“Does that mean you’ll teach me?” he calls after Derek.

“Hurry up and tack up, before I change my mind,” Derek calls back and Stiles pumps his fist in the air before going to get Falcon. The horse almost feels like his own. He’s the only one riding him and even if it’s too hot to ride Stiles brushes him every day. When it got extremely hot, he’s even showered the horse.

He’s both excited and nervous at the prospect of jumping. Falcon seems to sense Stiles’ feelings; he moves around restlessly where he’s tied up in the aisle and scrapes his hoof against the floor when Stiles takes too long to get the saddle. Stiles leads Falcon out to the paddock when they’re done. Derek is already there and when Stiles comes closer to the obstacles there they seem higher than they had been when Derek practiced.

“Am I going to start that high?” he asks because even if Falcon most likely could handle the height Stiles isn’t sure he himself could. Derek’s only answer is a snort before he lowers it until it’s below his knee.

“Isn’t that too low?”

Derek gives him a disbelieving look, telling Stiles with his eyebrows and facial expression that he thinks Stiles is an idiot.

“Come on. Can’t you raise it-”

“This or I won’t teach you.” Derek points at the low fence.

Stiles sighs, but relents. He warms Falcon up by walking a few laps before they trot and at last canters a few laps in both directions.

“Let’s begin in trot,” Derek instructs from the side.

Jumping is harder than it looks. Derek barks at him to look up instead of down when they jump, and he has to follow the horse’s movement with his hands or he’ll pull at the bit in Falcon’s mouth. It’s a lot to think of but also lots of fun. Derek is, actually, a pretty good teacher, strict but also encouraging.

Both Stiles and Falcon are sweaty when Derek deems them done for the day.

“Can we jump again tomorrow?” he asks Derek excitedly as they walk back to the stable.

“No,” Derek says and Stiles’ shoulders slump in disappointment. “The day after maybe. Falcon can’t jump every day, he’s not used to that.”

“Oh, okay,” Stiles nods with a grin and pats Falcon’s sweaty neck. “Thanks for… you know, this.”

Derek gives him a small smile and Stiles’ belly flutters. He shakes it off though, and wonders why he's been feeling all floaty the past few days. He probably needs to get some water soon. But first he need to take care of Falcon.   
  
  


One morning when Stiles arrives, Lady Belle, the other pregnant mare, is no longer alone in her pasture. Beside her is a small foal. Stiles calls for someone, anyone, to come. Derek comes out of the stable, looking worried.

“There’s a foal,” Stiles says and points needlessly at the chestnut foal. Derek actually grins at that as he walks up next to Stiles and looks at the foal over the half-wall.

“I know. Her name’s Sandybelle, but we call her Sandy.”

“She’s gorgeous,” Stiles says and holds out his hand for the foal.

Just like her mom, she’s a chestnut with three white socks and a white blaze. She sniffs Stiles’ hand and bumps it with her soft muzzle.

“She’s bigger than Merlin, right?”

Derek nods.

“You think she’ll survive?”

“I hope so,” Derek answers. “Most foals do survive, you know.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Yeah,” Derek nods, as if he understands how traumatic the event was for Stiles, as if he knows that Stiles will do anything in his power to make sure Sandy survives. Not that there was much he and Derek could do for Merlin.

“Shouldn’t you be working?” Derek asks with a smirk and shoves at Stiles’ shoulder. “Move your lazy ass.”

A month ago those words would’ve been angry, but now they’re playful and Stiles shoves back playfully before he goes to work, his shoulder tingling slightly where it touched Derek’s.

When Stiles is finally done with the mucking and leaves the stable, there’s an unknown car next to Laura’s. He can see people on the porch and he hopes they have something for him to drink because he’s parched. When he comes closer he can see a handsome guy sitting next to Laura on the porch. There’s lemonade on the table so Stiles fills up a glass for himself before he sits down in one of the other chairs around the table.

“Stiles, this is Camden,” Laura introduces. “Isaac’s brother. Camden, this is Stiles. He’s helping us with the horses this summer.”

Stiles looks up at the guy for the first time. He’s quite handsome with sharp features. He has a buzz-cut that Stiles recognizes from the army. He introduces himself and shakes Camden’s hand.

“Camden just got back from Iraq,” Laura continues. “He’ll be here for a few weeks before going somewhere else that he refuses to tell me.”

Camden laughs.

“You know I’m not allowed to tell you, Laur,” he says and winks at Stiles. Stiles feels his cheeks flush slightly. Camden is older than him and shouldn’t flirt with Stiles. Stiles isn’t even sure he’s flirting, he might just be his own self.

“If you tell me, you’d have to kill me. Yeah, yeah, I know,” Laura sighs with a smile.

Camden suddenly focuses on something behind Stiles and when Stiles turns around to follow his gaze out in the sun he sees Derek approaching, wearing jeans and a white tank top, his ridiculous biceps on display. Derek comes up to them and Camden smiles broadly, showing off his dimples and perfect, white teeth.

Stiles doesn’t really like him anymore.

“Derek, nice to see you again,” Camden reaches out his hand and Derek shakes it before sitting down next to Stiles, which Stiles is only happy about for a second before he realizes that it’s the only free seat.

“Do you remember me?” Camden says, all bright smile and twinkling eyes.

“Of course,” Derek smiles back, his cheeks slightly flushed. Stiles hopes it’s because the heat and the sun rather than Camden’s attention. It’s probably the latter though because Derek isn’t like Stiles who turns bright red if he’s out in the sun without sunscreen.

“Sadly, I’m only here for a few weeks,” Camden says though he’s smiling at Derek still. Slimy bastard.

Stiles turns to Derek to see that he’s even more red in the face now but he’s smiling and looking at Camden through his lashes. Stiles might throw up because it’s disgusting watching them making heart eyes at each other. Disgusting, that’s what it is. Stiles has no idea why he has a lump in his throat or why he wants to hit Camden’s pretty face.

Laura makes a gagging noise and slaps at Camden’s arm.

“Stop hitting on my baby brother,” she says but she’s laughing, as if she also thinks it’s funny.

“What? I’m not,” Camden says.

Lies! He was so hitting on Derek! Stiles thinks.

Camden keeps smiling at Derek, whose face and ears now are bright red.

“I’m just gonna-” Derek says, motioning with his thumb over his shoulder to the house before he leaves.

Laura laughs gleefully and turns to Camden.

“Be nice to him,” she says seriously then.

“You know I will,” he promises and Laura nods and smiles, as if Camden would be perfect for her brother.

He’s always smiling. Derek doesn’t like happy people, he likes sour people like himself, Stiles thinks.

“I need to-” Stiles says and waves his hand in the direction of the stable.

He leaves without another word and sits in Lady and Sandy’s pasture for almost half an hour, the foal bumping her muzzle against him every now and then.

Stiles likes to think the horse understands him and tries to cheer him up, because for some reason Camden makes him feel uneasy. There’s probably nothing wrong with the guy, but Stiles still feels Derek shouldn’t date him.

Then again, flirting doesn’t mean that they’re going to date.

It’s probably nothing.

However, they have a barbeque some days later and Stiles is surprised to see that Derek isn’t there. He’d seen Derek earlier in the day and Derek hadn’t said he was going someplace else. From what Stiles has gathered, Derek rarely goes anywhere else and prefers being home. Camden, who’s been at the Hales’ a lot in the past few days, isn’t here either.

Stiles asks Laura anyway, trying to sound casual. He doesn’t even know why he has to try to sound casual. Derek can do whatever he wants. Stiles is just wondering about his kind-of-friend.

“Is Derek coming or…?”

“Derek and Camden are on a date,” Laura shrugs.

The words sting, even though they shouldn’t. He and Derek aren’t good enough friends to tell each other everything so why does he feel cheated? Why does he feel like Derek should’ve told him about it earlier in the day?

“Okay,” he tells Laura. “I hope they have fun.”

It’s weird, but ‘I hope they have fun’ sounds a lot like ‘I hope they choke on their food’.

The evening is nice and the others have a good time, but Stiles can’t help but worry about Derek. How well do they even know this Camden guy? Is he trustworthy? Derek deserves someone who makes him happy.

When Scott drives him home that night Derek still hasn’t gotten home.

 

 

Stiles wants to ask Derek about the date but for some reason he doesn’t. He acts just like he always does around Derek, laughing and joking and for a few moments he forgets that Camden exists.

“Shorten the reins and try to keep your hands steady,” Derek instructs him as he rides around the paddock on Falcon.

Stiles has really improved in his riding, if he says so himself. He can canter and trot without fear of falling off, which is something. They’re practicing jumping so he trots towards the low fence – Derek refused to raise the bar – and Falcon jumps perfectly.

Stiles sees someone approach Derek in the corner of his eye and the slight distraction makes him lose his balance. He falls forward over Falcon’s neck but manages to grab a hold of Falcon’s mane and stays on. He slides back in the saddle when Falcon has stopped and turns to Derek, expecting Derek to reprimand him about not focusing on the riding alone. Derek seems to be busy though.

Stiles swallows hard but can’t look away from Derek and Camden kissing. It’s disgusting. But at least now he knows how their date went.

Stiles straightens himself, shortens the reins, and takes the next obstacle in a canter even though Derek wants him to do it in trot. Derek doesn’t say anything about it. He doesn’t even notice.

In the ten minutes that follow, Derek gives few instructions, mostly smiling at Camden and holding his hand. Stiles calls it quits not long after that, angry at Camden for taking Derek’s attention away from him and frustrated at himself for caring too much.

He ignores the voice in his head that points out that when Erica did the same thing a few days ago he didn’t mind at all. Then again, he found out later on that she wasn't exactly available, unlike Camden who seems to be entirely Derek's type.

They have a movie night that night at the Hales’. Scott is there as well and Stiles promises to drive him home later as his bike is on repair.

“The joys of having an old vehicle,” Scott had said and Stiles knows exactly what that’s like.

Camden comes just as they are about to start the movie. He sits down on the floor next to Derek’s armchair and Stiles notices that he sneaks his arm around Derek’s leg. Totally inappropriate to do it in front of Isaac and Derek’s sisters.

Stiles glares at him and Derek, but neither of them seem to notice his glare. He misses the first half of the movie because he notices Derek’s hand fall to Camden’s head and rubs over the buzz-cut. Stiles used to have a buzz-cut and he remembers the feeling of dragging fingers over it; it felt rather good. That’s probably the only reason Derek does it.

Derek can’t really like Camden, can he? Camden said so himself that he’s leaving soon; it would be stupid to start something with him, wouldn’t it?

Derek caresses his fingers over Camden’s cheek and then his lips. Stiles watches how Camden opens his mouth and kisses Derek’s fingertips while wearing a cheeky grin. His lips are probably chafed, Stiles thinks while glaring at them.

“Could you two quit it?” Isaac suddenly snaps, everyone turning their heads to Isaac before they turn their frowning faces to Derek and Camden.

Derek flushes and retracts his hand to his own lap while Camden straightens himself so he’s not leaning so much against Derek’s leg.

“Sorry,” they both say, though Stiles can’t help but think that they’re not really sorry at all.

“He’s right,” Laura chimes in, nodding towards Isaac. “Take it to Derek’s room or stay away from each other.”

Everyone turns back to the movie. Stiles watches for only half a second before he notices Derek leaning forward and says something in Camden’s ear. Camden smiles and nods and gets up from the floor. He pulls Derek up from the armchair by his hand and Derek leads him out of the living room, still holding his hand.

“Oh, my god,” Cora mutters. “I did not need to see that.”

Stiles silently agrees with her.

For some reason Stiles feels as if there’s lead in his belly. He feels almost like he did right after his mom died two years ago, when he was also having panic attacks. He doesn’t feel like he’s going to have an attack right now but there’s still the lump of anxiety inside him. Maybe he’s eaten something bad?

When the movie has ended, Stiles gets up from the couch and looks at Scott.

“Shall we go?” he asks and begs at Scott to understand him. They used to be able to understand each other wordlessly, but that was years ago and they have both grown and grown apart.

“I thought we’d- oh,” Scott says and then gets up. “Sure. Thanks for the night. Bye.”

Stiles waves at the others before they leave. He gets into his car and Scott sits down in the passenger seat. Scott stops Stiles with a hand on his arm when Stiles is about to turn on the ignition.

“Are you okay?”

“Sure, all fine and dandy.” Stiles laughter feels forced and hollow to his own ears.

“I didn’t know you liked him,” Scott says and Stiles turns towards him, a confused frown on his face.

“Who?”

Scott looks at him as if he’s grown a second head, but when Stiles doesn’t say anything else, his expression clears and his mouth falls open.

“Oh,” he says, as if he’s understood something. Stiles still has no idea what he’s on about. “You don’t know.”

It’s not a question; it’s a statement. There’s something Scott knows that Stiles doesn’t – and it seems to be about Stiles.

“Don’t know what?” Stiles presses.

Scott looks hesitant, as if he should withhold whatever it is that he knows.

“Scott, what?”

“You like him.”

“Who?”

“Derek.”

“What? Of course not, don’t be silly.”

But as the words leave his mouth he knows they’re not true. He likes Derek. He _likes_ Derek.

“Let’s get you home. You obviously need to sleep.”

The joke is bad, but Scott smiles anyway and Stiles is suddenly so grateful that he apologized to Scott and the two of them had put things behind them a little. Stiles starts the car and drives Scott home on autopilot.

“See you,” he calls as Scott leaves with a worried glance backwards towards Stiles.

Stiles tries not to think of anything when he drives home. He tries especially not to think about Derek, which means that he thinks of Derek, and Camden and Derek and Camden doing things.

He realizes what the anxious feeling in his belly is; it’s jealousy.


	3. Chapter 3

It’s weird seeing Derek, seeing him smiling at Bella as he brushes her before taking her back to her pasture, seeing him and knowing that Stiles doesn’t stand a chance with him.

How could he be so stupid and reject Derek those years ago?

Even though he knows that nothing will ever happen between them, Stiles can’t help but daydream about it as he mucks the stalls. He briefly wonders what his friends at school would say if he actually started to date Derek and he realizes that he doesn’t care about them.

He knows they wouldn’t have a problem with Derek being a guy – Danny’s gay and all Stiles’ friends at school know he’s bi. The problem his friends would have with Derek would be that Derek’s a horse nerd and not cool enough. Stiles though, has realized that not only does he not care if his friends think Derek’s not cool enough, because Stiles himself finds Derek rather cool – he control horses that weighs half a ton, and that’s pretty cool.

His musings are interrupted by Laura coming into the stable.

“Good morning,” she chimes happily. “We were thinking of going to the beach with some of the horses. Would you like to come with us?”

Stiles perks up at the idea. It seems to be turning into one of these hot days and even if it’s only nine o’clock Stiles is already sweating through his shirt.

“That’d be awesome!” Stiles says and Laura grins.

“We’ll ride without saddles,” she says and Stiles wonders if he’ll be able to stay on Falcon’s back without a saddle. “Leave the mucking for later. I can help you out.”

Stiles nods and does as Laura suggests. They quickly prepare their horses.

Stiles realizes quickly that it’s harder to ride without a saddle. The first few minutes he feels like he’s going to fall off to one of the sides because he can feel Falcon’s movements much more than he can when riding in a saddle.

“You can take a hold of his mane if you feel like you’re about to fall off,” Derek tells him and Stiles does this at once.

He quickly learns the pace though and dares to let go of Falcon’s mane.

When they arrive at a secluded beach with no people, Erica’s Lucky and Derek’s King head straight into the water. Laura’s Lancelot and Falcon seem to be afraid of the water though. Lancelot almost rears when Laura tries to steer him into the water. Stiles gives up and gets off Falcon.

“If you’re not going in, I’m going in,” he tells the horse and pulls off his shoes before walking into the water. It’s cool and nice against his warm feet. Falcon makes a sound that sounds just like Stiles has imagined dragons to sound, before he follows Stiles so he stands with his front hooves in the water.

“You’re a big baby,” Stiles tells the horse fondly.

Erica suddenly shrieks and when Stiles looks out at the sea where Erica and Derek are he sees King splash his front hoof in the water, splashing water everywhere, but especially at Erica. Derek is laughing and saying “good boy” to King. Stiles laughs too and Falcon seems intrigued by the fun the other horses are having. Stiles kicks some water at Falcon’s breast and the horse looks so offended Stiles can’t help, but laugh out loud before splashing some more water at the horse.

Laura finally manages to get Lancelot into the water, just so it barely covers his hooves, but she seems to deem that enough and lets the horse go back to the shore.

They bathe the horses for a while before heading back home. Stiles ends up riding next to Derek.

“Do you do this a lot?” Stiles asks because it’s rather nice riding without a saddle, feeling the horse’s movements much more.

“We used to do it much more often when we were kids, with our parents. Sometimes we’d bring food and stay at the beach for a couple hours.”

“What did you do with the horses? You can’t just let them walk around, can you?”

“We’d build a temporary pasture for them with some rope. Our parents taught us how to.”

Stiles fidgeted in his seat and couldn’t help asking, “When did your parents…?”

“Two years ago this fall,” Derek answers, his voice quiet and more subdued.

“It’s two and a half years since my mom died,” Stiles shares. “She got dementia, a kind that comes early and progresses quickly. At the end she didn’t recognize me. The Christmas before she died was awful.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Derek says after a moment of silence.

“Thanks,” Stiles says, not knowing what else to say. Derek gives him a small, comforting smile and Stiles feels his face heat up and heart beat faster.

When they get back to the ranch, Stiles heads over to Sandy and her mother. Sandy has started to recognize him and comes trotting towards him.

“Hey, baby girl!” She bumps her head against his chest and lets him pet her, cooing and talking to her in a silly voice. Suddenly he realizes that he’s not alone. Derek is standing by the fence, leaning his elbow against the top board, watching them intently.

“Dude, you almost gave me a heartattack,” Stiles accuses, but Derek merely smirks at him.

“She really likes you,” he states and Stiles feels his belly swoop at this.

“You think so? Seriously?“

Derek nods, a smile still etched on his face. “She’s never like that with me or anyone else.”

Stiles smiles with his whole face and pets the foal. “Derek says you like me, is that true?”

Sandy bumps her head against his chest again, as if that answers his question. Maybe it does? Stiles looks at Derek who has a rather fond expression on his face. Stiles wishes he was the one the fond smile was directed at instead of the foal.

“Me and Erica were talking about a competition at a ranch just an hour away,” Derek tells him, not meeting Stiles’ eyes but watching Sandy instead. “She thought you might want to try showing in one of the lower classes. I’m starting with Bella and there’s room for another horse in the trailer.”

“Wow,” Stiles exhales. He’s watched several show jumping videos online and the fences are huge. Can he jump that high without falling off? Falcon can. He knows that. He’s watched videos of Talia and Falcon, but could Stiles really pull it off, even if it is in a lower class?

“It’d be in one of the lower classes,” Derek says again, as if sensing Stiles’ worry.. “The same height you’ve been jumping here.”

Stiles doesn’t know if he feels disappointed or happy. He settles for happy and thinks of show everyone how much he’s improved.

“Yes,” Stiles says and Derek’s eyes turn to him instead of Sandy. “That’d be awesome. You’d let me do that?”

“Yeah, of course,” Derek nods. “It’s in three weeks.”

Stiles nods and Derek gives him another smile before turning around and walking up to the house. Stiles does not watch his ass in those tight jeans he wears.

He does.

  


Suddenly the week when his dad and Melissa are going to Los Angeles comes. Stiles has known the date for a while, but it still comes as a surprise as he’s been busy practicing with Falcon for the competition. He had completely forgotten about the trip and Melissa, what with trying to not let his feelings for Derek show even as he watches Camden flirt with Derek – or even worse, Derek flirt with Camden.

He realizes that he’s not as angry anymore. Maybe Derek was right? Maybe his dad really is lonely? He hopes this Melissa woman treats his dad right or she’s going to have Stiles to answer to.

A few days before the trip, Melissa and her son are set to come over for dinner. Stiles wonders if he’ll know the son from school or if he goes to Valley. Or maybe he’s not even a high schooler anymore. Or yet.

Stiles realizes he hasn’t paid attention to what his dad has told him about Melissa and her son. He can’t even remember if John has told Stiles the son’s name. He feels ashamed of himself for his behavior. If Melissa makes John happy, then Stiles shouldn’t stand in their way.

He’s oddly nervous when the doorbell rings and hides away in the kitchen, making sure the dinner doesn’t get burnt. He does not expect Scott to step inside.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” he asks and is about to tell Scott about how he’s meeting his dad’s new girlfriend when Scott’s mom steps into the kitchen, Stiles’ dad’s hand on her shoulder.

To say that Stiles is at a loss of words is an understatement. He gapes at them, pointing between them all with the spoon he’s holding, not noticing that the sauce drips down onto the floor.

“Stiles, this is Melissa,” John says slowly, carefully. Stiles wonders why he sounds unsure, but then he realizes that he is awaiting Stiles’ outburst – and Stiles feels even more ashamed of himself for making his dad feel that way.

“Wow,” Stiles exhales shakily. “Melissa, hey, hi. I’m Stiles.”

Scott looks at him funnily, but Melissa smiles. It’s a rather beautiful smile actually. Stiles goes to shake her hand, but forgets the spoon he’s holding so instead he pokes her with it, getting tomato sauce on her dress.

“Fuck! I’m sorry. Shit. Sorry.”

When Stiles turns to his Dad, the man is honest to god face-palming, but his shoulders are shaking and Stiles doubts it’s from crying.

“Are you drunk?” Scott asks carefully, as if it’s better to approach a drunk person carefully.

“What? No, I’m just surprised. I didn’t know… That you and Melissa – can I call you Melissa?”

Melissa nods with a smile.

“And you can call me Scott,” Scott adds and he wears such a proud smile at his own joke that Stiles can’t help but laugh. His laughter seems to get the others going and soon they’re all laughing.

“I thought I’d told you,” John when the laughter has died down.

“I think I would’ve remembered,” Stiles says, but with a smile. He’s not sure though, but he doesn’t want Melissa and Scott to know how selfish he’s been. Well, Scott already knows, but he seems to have forgiven Stiles for that.

It’s a nice, carefree evening with lots of laughter and Stiles can honestly say that he’s glad that his Dad found someone like Melissa. She cares, not only for John and Scott, but for Stiles as well. She asks how he’s doing in school, which gets John started on bragging on how Stiles is almost at the top of the class – second to Lydia. Stiles quickly steers the subject away from school though, not wanting to think of what a jumbled mess it will be to return to.

  


It’s the day before John and Melissa go to Los Angeles that John sits Stiles down in the living room.

“Will you keep going to the Hales when I’m gone?” John asks seriously.

Stiles nods. He has nowhere else to go. The only one of his friends – the friends from school, that is – that has texted him lately is Allison. Apparently, Lydia and Jackson had a fight and Allison thinks they’ve broken up, but neither of them is talking about it.

At the beginning of the summer, Stiles would have been delighted at this fact and maybe tried to win Lydia back. Now he feels nothing. It’s not a part of his life anymore.

“Laura said that you could sleep at their place, if you want to.”

Stiles nods and thinks that he might do that.

“You won’t do anything stupid when I’m gone, right?” his Dad asks, his forehead furrowed in concern.

Stiles shakes his head, because he won’t. He doesn’t even know what kind of stupid things he could do. Maybe ride without a riding hat? He then thinks of Jackson’s pot and feels bad. His Dad still doesn’t know that it wasn’t Stiles’ and that Stiles never intended to use it.

“The pot wasn’t mine,” he blurts out.

John gives him a long, calculating look and Stiles meets his eyes without flinching. He knows his Dad is almost as good as a real lie detector. John sighs and his frown lessens.

“Why didn’t you say so?”

“Jackson said-”

“Jackson’s such a brat,” John interrupts and Stiles can’t help snickering at that. “I wish you’d told me the truth at the start.”

Stiles swallows, feels his eyes sting and John pulls him into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” Stiles whispers into his Dad’s shoulder. “I-”

“It’s okay, son,” John hushes and caresses the back of his head. “I love you. I love you no matter what, you know that, right?”

Stiles sobs and nods. He’s not sure his dad even notices the nod though. He seems to understand anyway.

“I love you too, Daddy,” Stiles sobs and John lets out a shaky breath.

Eventually, Stiles pulls away and wipes at his face and sees his dad do the same.

“Look at us, two grown men,” John jokes and hugs Stiles again. His Dad really gives the best hugs.

  


Being home alone is boring though, so after having spent just one night alone, Stiles asks Laura if it’s okay if he stays with them.

“Of course,” Laura smiles, “you know you always can stay here.”

His first night at the Hale Ranch, Stiles wakes up from some weird sound. When he strains his ears, he realizes that it’s the sound of people whispering and laughing quietly. He decides to go investigate and opens the door quietly. There are two people at the top of the stairs and they seem to be hugging and kissing. One of them moans as the other kisses the neck.

“Shh, you’ll wake someone,” one of them whispers and Stiles immediately recognizes that as Derek’s voice. It’s no mystery who the other person is then, Camden.

Stiles closes the door just as silently as he opened it and sinks down to the floor, head in his hands. He tries to keep the noises out, but he can hear their quiet murmuring and the sound of a door opening. After the door to Derek’s room has been closed, he hears the sound of bed springs and that’s when he gets up and as silently as possible walk down to the kitchen. He takes a glass of milk and goes out onto the porch.

The only sounds outside are from crickets. In his head, he can still hear the moans and giggles from Derek and Camden. He wishes he hadn’t stayed here, wishes he was home in his own bed where he didn’t have to find out what Derek and Camden were up to. He has suspected before that they might do more than just kissing and holding hands, but to actually see it hurts. He presses his hand against his chest, where his heart actually aches.

“Hey, whatcha doing up?”

Laura comes out in an oversized t-shirt and sits down next to him on the porch swing.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Stiles shrugs. If he had just ignored the noise that woke him he’d probably already be asleep by now, but he didn’t and now he’s seen things he never wished to see.

“Derek and Camden?” Laura asks and Stiles nods, turning his face away from her so she won’t see something he doesn’t want her to see. “Yeah, they woke me too with their sex noises. That’s something I never want to hear ever again.”

“You and me both,” Stiles says, aiming for casual but missing by miles.

“Oh,” Laura says quietly. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry, Stiles.”                                              

“Didn’t know what?” Stiles asks, still not looking at Laura.

“Come on, Stiles. You know what I’m talking about.”

Stiles doesn’t say anything, doesn’t know what to say, if he should just admit it or keep acting stupid.

“How long have you been crushing on my brother?” Laura asks after a few moments of silence when it’s become clear that Stiles won’t say anything.

“I…”

Stiles has no idea how to answer that. When he really thinks about it, he realizes that he was jealous long before he realized his feelings.

“I don’t know,” he says at last and it’s the truth.

“Why don’t you make a move?” Laura asks and Stiles wishes they could not have this conversation now. Or preferably never.

“He’s with Camden,” Stiles says and Laura hums, as if that’s not reason enough.

“They’re not serious. Besides, Camden leaves in a week.”

“Derek doesn’t want me.” Even though Stiles knows this, that Derek doesn’t want him, saying the words out loud hurts. Saying them out loud makes them more real. Derek doesn’t want him, Derek will never want him.

And Stiles has only himself to blame for that. He’s been thinking of his behavior, his rejection, and he wonders what would have happened if he hadn’t said ‘no’ back then. He wouldn’t have been invited to the cool table anymore and while that had been everything to him back then, he now feels silly. He could’ve had Derek and that would have been so much better than sitting at the cool table.

He realizes that now. Now that it’s too late.

Laura sighs, “I know you didn’t get along at the beginning, but now you’re almost friends.”

“We’ll never be more than friends though,” Stiles tells Laura firmly. “And I don’t blame him for not wanting me, okay?”

“Don’t be like that. You’re a catch,” Laura tries to cheer him up.

Stiles doesn’t understand how Laura can even want Stiles with her brother, not after what he’s already done to Derek…

Oh yeah. Laura doesn’t know.

Stiles doesn’t know if he should tell her. It’d make her back off for sure, but it might also make her hate him and Stiles can’t really handle people hating him right now. He hates himself enough already.

“I rejected him.”

The words slip out even though he had decided not to say anything.

“What? When?”

Stiles swallows and feels his eyes sting. He’s been crying way too much lately for his manhood to handle. The tears don’t care about manhood though.

“Two years ago, he asked me to the prom and I- I wasn’t the nicest when I rejected him. Actually, I was a total ass and the whole school found out and-.”

Stiles stops talking when Laura inhales sharply. Stiles turns to her, she stares back at him in anger and surprise.

“I can’t believe you’d… I heard someone did that to Derek, but he never told me who. I can't believe it's you. Have you any idea how he felt after that? Rejecting him like that and then having him be embarrassed in front of the whole school..…”

Stiles lets out a quiet sob. He can’t help it. Laura gets up from the swing but before she can leave Stiles grabs her wrist.

“Laura.”

“I can’t talk with you right now,” she hisses and tugs her arm from his hand before she leaves.

Stiles is left alone on the porch swing. He tugs his knees up to his chest and hugs them. The tears won’t stop running down his cheeks. Laura will probably kick him out in the morning, and Stiles can’t even blame her. He just wishes she’d see that he’d never hurt Derek now, that he cares for the horses and the Hales.

The next thing Stiles knew, he is being woken up by someone poking his side.

“Hey, are you alright?” Camden is looking at him with a concerned frown and Stiles wants to punch his pretty face. He sits up groggily, not realizing he had lied down and fallen asleep on the porch swing.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Stiles mutters, “I just couldn’t sleep inside, there were noises.”

Camden doesn’t need to know that Stiles left before any noises even started. Camden flushes slightly.

Stiles would like to feel spiteful at that, at making Camden blush, but he only feels sad. He remembers the night’s conversation with Laura.

“Fuck,” he swears and drags a hand over his face.

“You don’t look okay,” Camden says carefully.

“I’m not. Happy now?” Stiles snaps at him.

“You want to talk about it?” Camden asks and moves to sit down, but Stiles’ words stop him.

“I don’t want to talk about it with the boyfriend of the guy I-”

Like? Love?

Camden’s mouth falls open in surprise and he looks genuinely sad. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t know.”

“Well, now you do. Please leave.”

Camden hesitates, looks as if he’s going to say something else, but then he leaves without another word. His car is parked in front of the house so he gets into the car and starts it. He gives Stiles one last glance before he drives off.

Stiles gets up from the porch swings and goes to bed even if the sky is starting to turn pink and he soon will be up again to let out the horses.

 

 

For once he gets up before Derek, not having slept more than half an hour. He doesn’t wait inside for Derek, like Derek has done for him, but goes straight to the stable to begin to lead out the horses. Derek comes some minutes later when Stiles has let out Monsieur Wood and Falcon.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Derek asks and Stiles shrugs. Derek looks happy and well-rested even though Stiles doubts he got much sleep last night. He feels that tightening feeling in his chest, the jealousy or anxiety or whatever it is.

They take out the rest of the horses in silence and Derek keeps glancing at Stiles, his eyebrows furrowed in what could be concern. It’s probably mostly concern for how well Stiles will do his job than for Stiles’ actual well-being.

Stiles starts with the mucking when all the horses are outside. He wonders what Laura will say when she gets up. She’ll most likely forbid Stiles to ever come back.

“What’s up with you?” Derek finally asks, startling Stiles where he’s standing, leaning against the pitchfork, lost in his thoughts.

“I told Laura,” Stiles blurts out.

Derek frowns in confusion at him, clearly asking him to elaborate.

“I told Laura about what happened, what I did, you know, when you asked me to prom.”

Derek’s frown clears and he stares at Stiles in obvious surprise.

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” Stiles admits, which is at least partially true. He will never tell Derek that it was so Laura wouldn’t nag Stiles about his feelings for Derek. “I think she might fire me. Or you know, not let me come back.”

When Stiles utters the fear he’s been feeling ever since Laura left him on the porch, he realizes that he really wants to be allowed to stay at the ranch. It’s not just about Derek, it’s about the horses and Erica and even Laura. Stiles doesn’t want to leave any of them.

“You know I’m sorry for that, right?” Stiles says and looks pleadingly at Derek. “Because I am. I’m sorry.”

Derek swallows and looks away from him. Stiles wonders if their friendship will be irreparable after this. He has tried to not mention school or the rejection because he doesn’t know how Derek will react. Sometimes he thinks Derek has forgotten his behavior and that’s the only reason he’s talking to Stiles.

“You’ve changed,” Derek admits. “Just these past weeks.”

Stiles feels his eyes sting but he doesn’t know why, if it’s because Derek acknowledges Stiles’ change or if it’s because he’s glad that his change has been visible to Derek.

“You’re not the same brat you were when you first came here.”

“You’re less grumpy,” Stiles jokes because he can’t handle the seriousness of the situation.

Derek doesn’t seem offended at all, instead his lips twitch into a small smile and he looks up at Stiles again. Stiles’ breath catches because Derek is gorgeous looking at him while smiling. Stiles wants him to never stop smiling. He bites his lip to not say anything stupid – like declaring his undying love for the guy or something equally bad.

“It’s because you’ve finally learned to muck,” Derek jokes back and Stiles laughs, too loud for that kind of joke but he feels so relieved that Derek doesn’t seem angry at him. Stiles wouldn’t blame him if he was.

“I’ll talk to Laura,” Derek promises then and Stiles starts to protest. “Don’t worry about it,” Derek interrupts him with a small smile.

Stiles nods and when Derek leaves the stable Stiles continues with the mucking.

  


Laura comes by before Stiles is done with the mucking. She leans against the half-wall on the box Stiles is currently working in.

“So, my brother thinks I shouldn’t just kick you out.”

Stiles stops mucking and turns to face Laura full-on. He doesn’t know what to say though. He doesn’t think there’s much he can say to his own defense.

“You’ve changed, I’ve noticed this. When you first came here you were a brat who didn’t want to work but lately you haven’t complained about anything.”

Stiles wonders what it’s with the Hales and calling him a brat, but then again, that might be a correct description of who he is. Was? He knows he’s changed these last few weeks, all he hopes for is that Laura has noticed it too and that the change is enough.

“I like it here,” Stiles says. “I like the horses and the work and you and Derek-”

Laura gives him a little smirk at the mention of Derek’s name.

“Shut up,” Stiles throws back at her before he has time to keep the words inside. Laura doesn’t seem offended at all, though, instead her smirk grows wider.

While Laura hasn't talked about Stiles' confession last night, Stiles looks at her smile and thinks they're going to be okay.  
  


It’s later that day that Stiles finds Derek sitting on the porch swing alone. He doesn’t look up at Stiles when he sits down next to him on the swing.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Stiles asks and looks out towards the pastures. He sees Bella grazing and in another pasture Sandy is standing next to her mother. No dead foals or favorite horses then. Derek sighs heavily.

“Camden broke up with me,” he admits then and Stiles doesn’t know what to say to that. He would’ve thought he’d be happy about it but instead he feels sorry for Derek, who’s obviously upset about it.

“I know we weren’t really dating – it would’ve ended soon anyway because he’s leaving next week but…”

Stiles pats Derek’s shoulder, wonders what he should say, he’s never been very good at comforting people. For a moment, he wonders if Camden broke it off with Derek because of Stiles' feelings.

“I’m sorry,” he says at last.

Derek nods and looks at the horses.

“You never liked Camden anyway,” Derek says and Stiles is surprised, he didn’t think anyone had noticed. Not anyone but Scott at least.

“I- He was okay,” Stiles tries and Derek snorts. “Yeah, okay, I didn’t like him and I like him even less now because leaving you? That’s probably the most stupid thing he’ll ever do in his life.”

Derek snorts but he does look slightly better. Stiles cheer mentally at that.

“You want to go for a hack?” he asks and Derek nods.

Derek gets up from the swing and extends his hand for Stiles to help him up. It’s probably Stiles’ imagination that Derek’s hand lingers in his.

 

 

The competition date is suddenly upon them and Stiles arrives early so he and Derek can go to the competition site. The others are coming by later in the day and to Stiles’ great surprise his dad wanted to come too. Stiles is glad that John’s coming even if he’s a bit nervous about making his dad proud because the fences will be lower than the ones Derek will be jumping. He’s bought his own boots and own white pants. He borrows a red jacket from Derek that is slightly too big for him, but it works.

The first few minutes of the drive are spent in silence, but Stiles has never been good with silences and decides to get the ball rolling.

“Let’s play twenty questions,” he suggests.

Derek is staring at the road, and doesn’t see like he’s in the mood to play a game with Stiles. Stiles is nervous so he ignores that and goes ahead with his game.

“Okay. I’m thinking of a person,” he says and Derek rolls his eyes.

Stiles thinks Derek won’t say anything at first, but then Derek opens his mouth.

“Are you a real person?”

“No.” Stiles grins, ridiculously happy about the fact that Derek is actually playing with him.

Derek gets more into the game when he realizes that Stiles was Jon Snow from Game of Thrones. Stiles would never have thought Derek was someone who liked adventure movies or series. He would’ve thought Derek liked action movies, like Die Hard. Though Stiles likes both Die Hard and Game of Thrones, so he’s not judging anyone, least of all Derek.

They arrive at the competition site after an hour. There’s a huge barn to the side and Stiles counts to three paddocks with sand on the ground. The feel is hectic with horses and people everywhere. Derek goes to the check-in to register both Stiles and Falcon as well as himself and Bella while Stiles brushes Falcon inside the trailer. He’s putting on his saddle when he hears voices outside. He wouldn’t really care, but then he recognizes Derek’s voice. He sounds upset.

“Don’t be like that, sweetie,” a female is saying and Stiles feels a pang of something in his chest at someone calling Derek a pet name. Jealousy? Yeah, most likely. He has no idea why, Derek’s not his in any shape, way or form.

“Leave me alone, Kate,” Derek says, his usually smooth voice is rougher than usual.

“Do you think you stand a chance? The only one in your family who could ride was your mom and, oh right, she’s dead. Looks like I’m winning again.”

Stiles immediately steps out of the trailer and calls for Derek, saying he needs help. Derek nods and turns to Stiles without another word. Stiles looks past Derek to see the woman, Kate. She’s rather pretty with blonde locks, but then her face contorts into a grimace at Derek’s back and she’s not as pretty anymore. Just like Derek, she’s wearing white riding pants and a jacket - hers black instead of Derek’s dark blue.

“Good luck, babe,” she says and laughs. “You’ll need it.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Stiles tries, but Derek ignores him and goes to put on the bridle on Bella. His hands are shaking so bad though, so he can’t get it on properly. Stiles walks up to his side.

“Could I? I want to practice,” he says, and they both know it for the half-truth it really is. But still, Derek lets him take over and takes a step back.

Stiles pretends like he doesn’t hear the shaky breath Derek lets out. Instead, he talks to Bella and pretends like Derek isn’t there. He’s dying to know who Kate is and why she was acting like a bitch, but the shaky friendship he and Derek have wouldn’t allow him to ask those questions. He thinks that maybe all show jumpers might be as competitive as she seems but then again, he didn’t hear Derek talk to anyone about their dead parents.

Stiles decides to concentrate on his round instead. He and Falcon are in the first class so he warms up in a paddock with other riders. Derek is standing by the fence, watching and giving instructions as well as tips.

He watches his competition in action, all fellow beginners like him, and he likes to think he’s a bit better than some of them. It also helps that he sees Erica, Scott and his dad arriving and feels happy at the support.  

Stiles and Falcon enter the paddock and greet the judges, as he’s been told he should do. When they start to canter, Falcon seems to have more energy than usual, but he knows what to do and Stiles only has to make sure to stay on and steer right. Falcon jumps beautifully over every obstacle and in no time at all they’re done.

Stiles laughs as they exit and are greeted by Derek and Erica outside.

“You did awesome!” Erica says and holds the reins as Stiles jumps off.

When Stiles looks at Derek to see what he thinks, Derek’s face is hard and scowling instead of the smiling Stiles had expected. Derek isn’t looking at him though, but at another competitor. Stiles turns around and sees that the woman standing on the ground next to the other competitor is the blonde woman they met earlier, Kate.

“Ignore her,” Erica says and frowns as well. She puts a hand on Derek’s arm and Derek startles, as if he had forgotten Erica and Stiles were still there.

Stiles wonders what history Derek has with Kate, if it’s just the regular banter between competitors. Stiles doubts that it’s that easy though.

Derek turns to Stiles and gives him a small smile, it doesn’t reach his eyes though, and it makes Stiles want to punch Kate in the face for making Derek frown so.

“I’m going to get something to drink.” Derek turns around and heads over to the tent that sells drinks and hotdogs.

“What’s with Derek and that girl?” Stiles asks Erica as they walk around with Falcon so he gets to cool down.

“I’m not sure I should tell you,” Erica admits hesitantly. Stiles looks pleadingly at her and she sighs. “They used to date. It was some years ago or something, just before Derek’s parents died. After their death, it became clear that Kate only dated Derek because she wanted to be part of the Hale family – they’re quite famous, you know. Or were, at least. She left Derek  but she’s always making a hard time for Derek when they meet at competitions. She’s a bitch.”

Stiles nods. “We met her this morning. She said some things about Derek’s family.”

Erica nods. “She tries to psych him every chance she gets.”

“Stiles?” someone interrupts them. Stiles turns around and comes face to face with Allison.

“Hey!” he says, and for a moment he feels self-conscious about his white, tight riding pants. He wonders what Allison is going to say about the fact that he’s riding, but Allison is cool. She doesn’t care about such things. And she’s there, maybe she likes horses too?

Allison leans forward and hugs him. “It’s been so long. How are you?”

“I’m fine. You?”

“I’m fine. I’m here with my aunt,” Allison says. “Hi.” She smiles her pretty, dimpled smile at Erica and extends her hand. “I’m Allison.”

“Erica.”

“Are you from the Hale ranch?” Allison asks.

“Yeah, we met there,” Stiles says and Allison looks delighted.

“You two…?”

“What? No!” Stiles exclaims.

“Thanks for that,” Erica replies drily and Allison laughs.

Stiles sees Scott coming up behind Allison, holding three bottles of water.

“I’ve bought you some water,” he says. “We saw you, Stiles. You did awesome. You should hear your dad bragging about you. He…”

Scott stops talking the moment he comes up beside Allison and realizes who she is. Stiles doesn’t doubt that Scott knows who Allison is.

“Scott, this is Allison. Allison, this is Scott. He’s in the same school as us.”

“Hi,” Scott says and looks at Allison as if she hung the moon.

“Hey,” Allison says and smiles her dimpled, pretty smile at him.

“Hey,” Scott mimics.

“Hi,” Allison says and blushes.

Erica makes a quiet gagging noise in Stiles’ ear.

“Good, introductions have been made,” Stiles says and claps his hands. An older man on a horse glares when his horse startles. “Sorry,” Stiles calls out to him. The man ignores him.

Allison and Scott are still looking at each other as if they are the only two people in the world.

Stiles turns to Erica who looks delighted.

“Maybe we should just leave them alone?” Stiles suggests and Erica nods. “Can I have my water?”

Scott hands him two of the bottles and the last one he hands to Allison, who looks as if Scott handed her a million dollar – or maybe a puppy, Stiles can’t really decide.

He shrugs and motions for Erica that they should just go. Scott and Allison barely even acknowledge that they leave.

“I wish someone could look at me like that,” Erica sighs.

“Boyd does,” Stiles says and Erica blushes slightly and smiles.

“And you look at Derek the same way,” Erica says and shoves at Stiles with her shoulder so Stiles stumbles into Falcon, who’s walking beside him

“Shh,” Stiles hisses. “You can’t say that out loud, Derek can’t know.”

“Why not? He might-”

“Erica, drop it,” Stiles orders and Erica sighs, but seem to realize that he really doesn’t want to talk about it here, where Derek can hear them.

“I’ll drop it for now.”

Stiles guesses that’s the best he’s going to get right now.

Stiles has to ride yet another round, this time on the clock, which makes him even more nervous. He knows that Falcon can handle it, has handled it hundreds of times before, but Stiles is still nervous.

In the end, he ends up in third place, but is quite proud about it anyway. His dad is even prouder though.

“You were awesome!” John says when Stiles is brushing Falcon afterwards. He pulls him into a tight hug and then pats Falcon’s neck awkwardly. Stiles smiles at his dad’s awkwardness, knowing that John’s actually a bit afraid of horses.

In the afternoon, it’s Derek’s turn. Stiles watches him warm up and they really do look great together, Stiles thinks as he watches them soar over one of the many obstacles on the warm up course. He recognizes one of the other riders as Kate and he notices that Derek keeps his distance from her. She steers her horse – a bay colored one – to the side where she talks to an old man, smirking and pointing at one of the other riders just after she’s knocked down a bar on one of the obstacles. Stiles really doesn’t like Kate.

When Derek enters the paddock where the competition is held, Stiles is oddly nervous and chews on his thumb nail through Derek’s whole ride. There are no knockdowns, which means that Derek and Bella are going to ride a second time, this one on the clock. When they get out of the paddock, Stiles is there to greet them and he grins broadly at Derek as he takes Bella’s reins.

“That was awesome!” he says and Derek gives him a small smile in return.

“She was a bit nervous,” Derek admits and jumps down from Bella’s back.

“It was her first competition, of course she was nervous!” Stiles says and scratches Bella’s forehead. “Right, girl? You’ll be even quicker the next round, won’t you? You’ll show ‘em!”

Derek is looking at him as if he’s never seen Stiles before. His mouth is slightly open and his multi-colored eyes are softer than usual.

“What?” Stiles asks and feels as if he might have something on his face.

Derek seems to shake himself out of his reverie. He closes his mouth and his eyes get harder again. Stiles realizes with a jolt that the look Derek had been giving him was unguarded and he wonders why that was and how he can make Derek look at him like that again.

“I’m going to find us some food,” Derek says. “You can walk Bella so she’ll calm down.”

Stiles does as he’s been told and walks around with Bella next to him. He gets stopped a few times by people who compliment the horse and ask all kinds of questions, asking who Bella’s father is and such. Stiles has no idea who Bella’s father is and he’s a bit embarrassed to admit this. He vows to ask Derek when he gets back.

Derek comes up to him with two bottles of water and two hotdogs. They walk around eating and suddenly get stopped by a woman in competition attire; white pants and a jacket – hers being red instead of blue like Derek’s.

“Who’s this beauty after?” she asks, “is it okay to pet her?”

Derek nods his permission.

“She’s after Pollux.” he says and the woman looks impressed.

“I should’ve guessed with her jumping technique,” the woman says. “She’s really something.”

Derek smiles and if Stiles hadn’t been watching him quite closely he wouldn’t have noticed Derek’s ears turning slightly red. It’s quite adorable actually.

The second round Derek and Bella ride isn’t as good as the first one. They have two knock-downs which give them eight faults. Derek glares a bit as he rides out of the arena.

“You did awesome!” Stiles tells him anyway and Derek’s sour expression relaxes a bit. Stiles hands Bella a small piece of candy that he got in his pocket.

“You’ll make her fat,” Derek says but he doesn’t seem angry at all, more amused.

“Nah, you train her so hard so it won’t show,” Stiles grins at him and shoves at Derek’s shoulder with his own. He doesn’t know what he expects, but it’s not for Derek to shove his own shoulder against Stiles’ with a slight smirk before leading Bella to the trailer.

While Derek removes Bella’s equipment, Stiles stands at the very front of the trailer, petting both Bella and Falcon and hands them a candy every now and then.

“You’ll make them fat,” Derek says again and comes up beside Stiles.

Stiles turns to Derek to retaliate but the words die on his tongue. Derek is standing so close, Stiles can feel the warmth from him. And Derek is looking at him, smiling slightly. Stiles doesn’t think - because if he did he’d never do it - but leans forward and kisses Derek softly. Derek makes a surprised noise and Stiles leans back.

Fuck, what did he do? He shouldn’t have…

Derek leans forward and presses their lips together again. Stiles closes his eyes and his hands grab onto Derek’s jacket. He feels Derek’s warm hands on his waist and leans slightly closer.

“I have no idea where they went,” he suddenly hears Erica say from outside the trailer and Derek takes a quick step back from him.

“Ah, here you are!” Erica smiles from the door in the front of the trailer. “Stiles, your dad wants to know if you’re going to ride in their car or with Derek? He’s inviting everyone to a barbeque at your place.”

“You should go with your dad,” Derek says and doesn’t meet Stiles’ eyes when Stiles turns to him. His face is slightly flushed - Stiles suspect he looks a bit the same - but he looks down at the floor as if he’s embarrassed or something. Stiles tries to catch his eyes but Derek refuses to look at him and Stiles gives up, following Erica out of the trailer.

“Your dad is awesome,” Erica says and Stiles is glad she seems to be oblivious to the kiss she just interrupted.

Stiles nods absentmindedly at her chatting while thinking of Derek and the kiss. Derek regrets it, there’s no doubt about it considering his behavior. Still, Derek did initiate the second kiss, Stiles ponders as he sits in the back of his dad’s car next to Scott, who chatters about Allison and how they’re going to go to the movies next week.  

When they get home, Stiles heads straight for a shower while his dad, Scott and Melissa start with the dinner. After he’s showered, he helps Scott with setting the table out in the backyard. Scott is still talking about Allison and doesn’t notice Stiles’ demeanor, for which Stiles is grateful.

They’re just done with setting the table when the Hales along with Erica and Isaac arrive. Derek refuses to meet Stiles’ eyes even as Stiles tries to capture his gaze.

Derek definitely regrets the kiss then.

They sit at opposite ends of the table - probably not by accident. When Derek goes inside for a bathroom visit, Stiles pretends he’s going to get some more drinks for them and heads inside. He waits as Derek’s in the bathroom and then corners him in the hallway when Derek emerges.

“Are you avoiding me?” Stiles asks and Derek doesn’t meet his eyes - definitely avoiding him.

“Stiles, I- I’m sorry for what happened,” Derek says and Stiles swallows hard. “We’re friends and it was just because of the competition and the nerves or something.”

Even if Stiles knew Derek doesn’t feel the same, it hurts to hear him say it out loud. He should probably just leave it at that, they can go back to being friends. But Derek did kiss him back, maybe he feels _something_?

“It wasn’t for me,” Stiles says quietly and Derek stares at him in surprise. “I know you don’t want me like that or anything, but it wasn’t the competition or nerves or anything like that. Not for me..”

Derek doesn’t say anything so Stiles continues.

“Do you know how much I regret not letting you take me to the prom? If I had, I think we’d still be together. I regret it every day.”

Stiles is not done, but Derek interrupts him by stepping up close to him, cupping Stiles’ cheek and staring at him. He looks scared, Stiles notices, eyes wide and mouth slightly opened, showing his cute front teeth.

“What are you doing?” Stiles whispers.

“I lied. It wasn’t just the competition,” Derek whispers back before closing the distance between their lips. This kiss isn’t shy or anything close to it. It’s passionate and wet and Stiles shudders when Derek’s hands pull him close. When they break away and Derek leans their foreheads together, they’re both panting.

“So...” Stiles whispers, stealing a quick kiss. Derek smiles at him, soft and fond.

“So?”

“We’re dating or what?”

Derek nods and Stiles feels his face almost break because of the smile he himself is sporting.

“Exclusive, though, right?” Stiles asks because he doesn’t want to share Derek with anyone.

Derek nods and opens his mouth to say something when someone calls Stiles’ name from outside.

“Where’s my coke, Stiles?” Erica calls and Stiles takes a step back from Derek, letting his hands fall to his side.

“Duty calls,” he smiles at Derek and leaves for the kitchen. He doesn’t count on Derek going with him but his belly swoops as Derek places a hand on his lower back as Stiles pick out the beers and sodas he was supposed to get. Derek helps him carry them as they walk outside.

Derek sits at his side of the table, but every now and then their eyes meet over the table and Stiles feels his cheeks hurt from grinning so much.   



	4. Chapter 4

Being back at school is weird. Stiles has been at the Hales’ so much this summer that it feels weird not seeing Derek, Erica and Laura every day. He still has Scott around though as he and Melissa moved in with Stiles and John, so Scott rides with him in his jeep to school.

When they get to school, Allison is waiting for them. She and Scott greet each other with a kiss before they all head into the school building. Scott and Allison walk hand in hand, being ridiculously cute. If Stiles didn’t have Derek, he’d probably be jealous of them.

When they head for their lockers they’re cornered by Lydia, who’s looking at Allison and Scott who are holding hands.

“You didn’t tell me the Scott you’ve met was Scott _McCall_ ,” Lydia says and Stiles prepares to step in between, but Allison glares at Lydia.

“Do you have a problem with that?” She asks, raising her chin defiantly.

Lydia looks at Stiles, who shakes his head at her, and she sighs.

“I guess not,” she shrugs. “Jackson is being an ass.”

Stiles snorts, “When isn’t he?”

Lydia turns to him and gives him a small smile, which Stiles returns. He hopes they can be friends now.

“I’m not getting back together with you though,” she tells Stiles, who laughs in surprise.

“Trust me. I really don’t want to get back with you either,” he says.

“...but you’ve been in love with me forever,” she frowns.

“I met someone,” he tells her and she looks both surprised and intrigued.

“Tell me about her,” she says and links her arm with him, steering him towards his locker.

“Him,” he corrects her. “I don’t know if you remember him, but he went here our freshman year. Derek Hale.”

“Oh, I remember,” Lydia says after a moment’s consideration. “He asked you to prom...”

“Yeah, and turning him down was a huge mistake on my part,” Stiles says.

“Does he still have pimples?” she asks and Stiles laughs.

“Does it matter?”

“I guess not. Does he make you happy?”

Stiles smiles and thinks of Derek, who this very morning had been so nervous for Stiles going back to school. Stiles hadn’t understand why, but now he thinks that maybe Derek thought he’d go back to being a brat. Stiles won’t though. He cares about Derek too much for that.

“Oh, my god,” Lydia sighs. “Wipe that ridiculous smile off your face.”

Stiles can’t really do that though, not when he thinks of Derek.

He meets Jackson at lunch in the cafeteria as Stiles and Scott are heading for a table.

“Stilinski!” he calls and waves. “How was your summer?”

Stiles smiles at him and motions for Scott to follow him to the table Jackson is sitting at. Scott looks hesitant but follows when Stiles starts to walk over to the table.

“Who’s the stalker?” Jackson asks when Stiles sits down. Scott puts his tray next to Stiles’, but when he tries to pull out the chair it’s obvious something is holding the chair to the ground.

“You’re not welcome here,” Jackson says to Scott with a sneer. When Stiles leans slightly to the side, he can that Jackson is the one holding onto the chair with his legs under the table.

“Jackson,” Stiles tries and Jackson turns to him, his eyebrows raised as if Stiles is crazy.

“What? You want this loser at our table? Did a horse kick your head in this summer?”

There are a few laughs from the other occupants of the table. Stiles glares at Jackson. Scott turns to leave, but Stiles catches his arm before he can go too far.

“If he leaves, I do too.”

“What? You’d rather hang out with the losers than us?” Jackson motions at himself and the others at the table - they are all looking at Stiles as if he’s crazy. A year ago Stiles would have worn the same expression.

“He’s not a loser,” he says and gets up. He can even hear someone gasp dramatically. “Come on, Scotty. Let’s find a better table.”

“Your doom, Stilinski!”

Scott is looking uncertainly at Stiles who gives him a small smile in encouragement.

”I think we’ll live, right?”

Scott nods and smiles at him. It doesn’t take long before Allison joins them. Lydia looks nervously between Jackson and Allison before she chooses to sit down next to Allison, ignoring Jackson’s indignation.

“So, when am I going to meet your new boyfriend, Stiles?”

She flips her hair over her shoulder, trying to seem indifferent that she’s no longer sitting at the cool table. Stiles, though, has known her for years. She’s nowhere near indifferent.

“He’s coming to get me this afternoon,” Stiles says. “Scott is apparently going on a date, so he’s taking my car.” Stiles turns to Scott, “if there are any suspicious stains in the backseat, I’m disowning you, okay?”

Scott blushes and opens his mouth, but no sounds come out. Allison giggles, her cheeks slightly pink too. Stiles grins at them both and Lydia rolls her eyes, but there’s a small smile on her lips. Jackson in the meantime is telling anyone how much he hates both Stiles and Lydia. Stiles doesn’t care about whatever Jackson is saying - right now it seems to be some story about Stiles’ boyfriend and how ugly said boyfriend is. Lydia though is looking down at her plate, biting her lip.

“Don’t care about him. He’s just a douche,” Stiles pats her hand and she gives him a small smile for his trouble.

The story about Stiles’ ugly boyfriend seems to have reached the whole school. By the end of the day, Stiles can hear people whispering and he even sees someone point at him while whispering to her friend. Stiles tries to not care about them as he heads out for the parking lot where Derek’s supposed to pick him up.

At the parking lot, there are a lot of people hanging around, whispering and pointing at something - or someone - other than Stiles. He rolls his eyes as he zig-zags between people to get to the actual parking lot. He sees Derek leaning against Laura’s Camaro, sunglasses on his face and hands in his pockets.

It becomes apparent that the person everyone is talking about it none other than Derek and Stiles can’t help the huge grin as he approaches.

Derek straightens himself and Stiles steps up right into his space and kisses him. He can’t help himself. People have been talking about his ugly boyfriend for hours, and Stiles is quite happy to show them how hot his boyfriend is.

“Hey,” Derek says a bit breathlessly when Stiles pulls away.

Stiles can’t stop grinning. Derek smiles at him before giving him a soft kiss.

“Let’s get away from here,” Stiles says and Derek nods and gets in the car.

When Stiles looks out of the window, he sees Jackson looking pissed and saying something to Greenberg, who’s standing next to him. Stiles feels giddy when he realizes that he really doesn’t care at all what Jackson is saying about him. He has some wonderful friends and a wonderful boyfriend. There’s nothing Jackson can say about him that would dampen his spirit.

He looks over at Derek and smiles. He doesn’t seem to be able to stop smiling.  

  


 

Epilogue

 

Stiles hears his name followed by Sandybelle’s get called out before he enters the arena. People are applauding and he hears someone cheer - probably Erica and Laura. The course is a hard one with quick turns and high obstacles. He’s confident though; he and Sandy have been working for this for years.

He remembers his first competition with Falcon, who passed away last year, almost 30 years old! Stiles remembers what happened afterwards with the kiss and Derek. He’s changed so much since then, he’s a man now, not a kid.

John and Melissa got married the summer after Stiles’ senior year in high school. Instead of having a fancy car, Monsieur Wood had pulled a carriage for them. At first it had been weird with Scott and Melissa moving in with Stiles and his dad, but Melissa never wanted to become his new mom and Stiles and his dad still went to Claudia’s grave every anniversary and birthday.

Scott and Allison are still together and expecting their second kid. Their three year old Nat is gorgeous with dark hair and brown eyes - just like both her parents. Stiles loves his goddaughter.

Stiles is also married now and they have talked about adopting a child. Horses take up a lot of Stiles’ time these days though, and while Derek loves horses just as much as Stiles, he doesn’t compete as much as Stiles does. They live in a small cottage quite close to the Hale ranch now so Stiles can even walk to the ranch every day.

Now, Stiles greets the judges before urging Sandy to canter. He sees Derek right by the door to the arena, waiting nervously, and he smiles at his husband before he focuses on the first obstacle, the smile still tugging at his lips.


End file.
